Indigenous woman, Egyptian Muslim man's love story based on embracing one another's cultures

This article was originally published on Feb. 16, 2020.

Osawa Kiniw Kayseas grew up in a traditional Nahkawe-Anishnaabe way, by going to ceremonies and learning how to pray. Since she was young, she has started her day the same way: smudging her home and herself to protect her energy.

Now, the Indigenous woman from Fishing Lake First Nation in Saskatchewan has a new person to include: her Muslim husband, Mohamed Hassan.

"He understands the teaching about cleaning your energy and cleaning the air. He understands that aspect of it," Kayseas said. 

Their backgrounds are worlds apart — literally, as Hassan is from Ismailia, Egypt — but the way in which they approach their lives, informed by their vastly different cultural and religious backgrounds, has turned out to be refreshingly complementary for the two of them. And their cross-cultural love story has been an education for the two of them as well.

"I am connected to this land and I know who I am as an Indigenous person. My husband also knows who he is as a Muslim man," said Kayseas, pointing out the two of them have traditional Indigenous and Muslim names, respectively.

"So we as people understand our value system and we came together based on that, not on whether we were religious or not."

Aligning on values

Growing up on Fishing Lake First Nation, Kayseas tried dating Indigenous men — not that she was under pressure to do so. The only warning her mother gave her was not to date within her community because they might be related. 

"She always thought you should date somebody who is good for you, somebody who's kind, somebody who has good values, so that's what she encouraged me to do," said Kaysea.

But Kayseas had trouble finding a partner whose values and direction in life aligned with hers. She wasn't interested in starting a family at a young age and also wanted to live a "sober life."

It was that latter goal that prompted her to start dating Muslim men in her mid-twenties.

After marrying, then divorcing, a Muslim man from Morocco, she gave herself some time to heal. After a few months of focusing on herself, she returned to a method that she grew up with: praying.

Finding love across the world

She joined an online Muslim dating site and went "husband hunting" (she's only a little joking) with her mother alongside her. They both watched the messages pour in. 

Although her mother encouraged her to delete her profile because she was getting too many messages, the first day on the site she met Hassan. There was a language barrier, so they used apps like Google Translate to communicate. 

Seven months later, they were married and Hassan made the decision to move to Canada to start a life with Kayseas in the small town of Wadena, Sask. 

Culture shock — and education

Kayseas said that her husband experienced culture shock moving from Egypt.

"He had struggled with the fact that he was no longer working. He had to wait for his permanent resident card before he could start working and still he was in shock based on language, and the weather, the environment, being away from his family."

She said it took him almost a year to adjust to Canadian culture, including learning about Indigenous people here. Hassan had only seen and heard of Indigenous people in Western movies and Kayseas was quick to teach him about the historical context that affects Indigenous people today. 

He also sees that I experience racism on a daily basis and that's my Canada, that's my experience with Canada for me.- Osawa Kiniw Kayseas

"They took them to residential school and it affects their life, even until now ... some of them are struggling," Hassan said. 

"Her mom worked hard to give them a good life and she [taught] them how to ... be good people in the community. This is what I've seen from my life because I have been here two years and I can see the difference between her family and different families. ​​​​​​"

Hassan said that he noticed the deep cultural roots his wife's family has and their respect for the land. 

"They follow nature and the stars, the sky — with nothing else. So I believe that what they learn about medicine, and about the nature, it's true."

Kayseas added the two also found common ground in being from oppressed cultures.

"So I could see the parallel of behaviours and I could understand that," she said. "And it was easier for both of us to understand each other on that front."

'My husband gets treated better on my homelands'

Despite that common ground, Kayseas feels as if her and Hassan's coupling shows the inequality between the two, highlighting issues of prejudice and discrimination against Indigenous people in Saskatchewan.

"I do experience racism and my husband actually sees that he gets treated better than me in my own homeland because of the colour of his skin or because of the way he looks," said Kayseas.

"He also sees that I experience racism on a daily basis and that's my Canada, that's my experience with Canada for me."

She said that when they go shopping or out to restaurants, she feels service people will only address her husband.

Her husband isn't immune. Kayseas said Indigenous people have discriminated against him as well.

"It's been subtle, but he has experienced that," she said.

Hassan chalks it up to people misjudging something they don't understand.

"I saw some people don't understand the relation between us, because they don't know. They don't know me, they don't know her and that's it." 

For him, though, their successful partnership is easy to understand: "we have common morals or principles, like there is respect and being honest with each other."