Humour, patience and compromise: Seniors offer their advice for long-lasting relationships
‘I don't believe in a perfect marriage … I think every marriage you have has to be worked on’
This article was originally published on Feb. 14, 2020.
If you're looking for advice on how to make a relationship last decades, let alone years, it helps to ask those who've lived it: seniors. CBC Saskatchewan sat down with three couples at the College Park Retirement Residence in Regina to see why they think their partnerships have stood the test of time.
June and Lloyd Harker met at a dance hall in rural Saskatchewan during their younger years. Waltzing and square dancing brought them together, and the two tied the knot in 1956.
"He was pretty good looking then," June said before the two started laughing. "He was nice. He was kind."
What is your secret to staying together for so long?
"You have to be patient with each other and, you know, don't slam the door every time something doesn't suit you," June said.
"You have to take the good with the bad — just live with each other and things seem to turn out," Lloyd said.
"I don't believe in a perfect marriage ... I think every marriage you have has to be worked on," June said.
Ruth and Ken Edwards are 79 and 88, respectively. The two have been together for 62 years.
"She chased me all over town," Ken said with a laugh.
"I couldn't," Ruth corrected, "You had a car."
The couple farmed near Nokomis, Sask. Now the farm is being taken over by their grandson, while Ruth and Ken live together in Regina.
What is your secret to staying together for so long?
"You've got to be really nice to her and do whatever she tells you," Ken said, laughing.
In contrast, Ruth said, "Sometimes you have to give into things that you don't like doing but you can't always be right."
Henry and Bernadette Reis worked as a teacher and nurse, respectively. They met in Regina. Henry jokes Bernadette's steady income was a bonus in choosing to go steady with her.
They were married in August 1955.
What is your secret to staying together for so long?
"You have to love each other," Bernadette said. "You have to be ready to give in, lots of times."
And, she added, "you have to be able to put up with a lot of stuff about [your partner] that you don't like that much."
Humour is a big part of their relationship.
"It makes things go easier," Henry said. "We raised one girl and four boys — you need humour."
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