Sask. residents say more resources needed for suicide prevention, family supports
Regina woman who lost son, husband to suicide struggled to find help
In the corner of her garden in Regina, Jennifer Varga has preserved cherished memories of her late son, Dayton, and husband, Curtis. She lost both of them to suicide, and she often sits there to chat with them.
"We were totally blindsided. [Dayton] showed no signs of depression or anything. One day I just came home and he was gone. Losing a child is soul crushing," Varga said.
"Dayton was a very passionate football player, funny, popular but also very quiet. He didn't let a lot of people in, but if he did, he ensured you felt loved. He was a special boy and touched many lives."
In January 2020, Dayton died of suicide. Varga said the 15-year-old's behaviour had changed a month before, as he would spend more time in his room in the dark, always busy on his phone.
"Whenever I would push, I'd always get, 'Mom, I'm fine.' It almost felt as if I was bugging him. I didn't think anything was up," she said. "It was shocking. I would have done anything to help him."
Dayton would have graduated this year and had dreamed of continuing his education at university. His bed sits the way he last touched it and his clothes are still in the closet. Varga's aunt and mother-in-law also have patches bearing mementos in their gardens.
"Once we lost Dayton, Curtis's mental health took the deepest dive. He went from a very proud, confident, hard-working man to a broken person," Varga said.
"He couldn't leave the house. He was in a manic depression."
Varga said there was not much support she could find for her husband.
"He couldn't find his purpose anymore. We struggled with getting him help. He felt defeated."
'From a four-person family to two'
The family looked for postvention help, which refers to assistance addressing the immediate psychological needs of family members and friends of people who have died by suicide.
"I started searching the web looking for resources and options we had, but there was nothing," Varga said.
She managed to find counselling for her husband, but in vain. He was put on some medications but stopped using them after a year and a half as they "numbed him," she said.
In July 2022, Curtis died of suicide. Now, Varga said her other son is her rock.
"We went from a four-person family to two. Men are hard to talk to about their feelings, but I tell my son we need to talk and keep the communication open."
She said mental health awareness classes should be taught in school.
"We need more doctors and therapists who are knowledgeable. Everyone just prescribes a drug."
Now, the province is looking for an organization to help families and friends facing this kind of loss. The Health Ministry has issued a request for proposals to develop and operate a provincial suicide postvention program and has said it will provide $200,000 in annualized funding.
Last year, 230 people died of suicides in Saskatchewan, which was 20 more people than in 2021. So far this year, 41 people have already died.
Varga welcomes the province's move but said more needs to be done on prevention.
"In Regina, there are very limited resources. Even finding counsellors is hard," she said. "There are definitely gaps. For prevention, there's pretty much nothing."
More support needed
"Saskatchewan is unfortunately one of the highest provinces for suicides and deaths by suicides," said Rebecca Rackow, director of advocacy, research and public policy development at the Saskatchewan division of the Canadian Mental Health Association.
"The social determinants of health are also social determinants of mental health. That includes food security, safety, having a home and support near you. In the last couple of years, we had uncertainty with some of those."
The rising costs of living and inflation are now added stressors, Rackow noted. She said prevention and intervention are key components of mitigation.
"Then, there is postvention, which is support for families. One of the things that triggers people to suicide is grief and loss — loss of any sort, including a family member or friend. In a way, postvention is prevention."
Rackow said that in northern communities, some progress has been made with the introduction of mobile applications such as Talking Stick, a Saskatchewan-based mental health app that aims to help Indigenous people feel heard, and Embracing Life, a similar application catered to youth.
There is still a dearth of affordable counselling support in the province, she said, and youth and Indigenous populations in the province have been most vulnerable to suicides.
"There is a high rate of suicides in farmers, especially during a dry season," she said. "More support is always needed."
Support 'not up to par'
Sally Ratt will be holding her suicide awareness walk for the seventh year on Friday, walking from Prince Albert to her home, Stanley Mission. Ratt lost her 12-year-old daughter to suicide in 2016.
"The support is still not up to par. There needs to be more advocates for suicide prevention, intervention and awareness," Ratt said.
"We have lost quite a few family members and friends to suicide. Recently, we lost another family member to it and we couldn't tell he was planning to end his life as he looked so happy."
Ratt said over the years, their community has lost at least 100 people to suicide. She said many were related to drug and alcohol use, which is "getting worse."
Susan McKenzie, Ratt's niece, said she used to feel helpless when she was "on drugs." Now sober for awhile, she said she has found support in her aunt.
"Some people think reaching out is a sign of weakness," McKenzie said. "It's not. It's the strength in you to ask for help."
McKenzie said the government should do more to help people who are socially anxious and hesitant to receive help.
Tammy MacFarlane, director of clinical services at Saskatoon Crisis Intervention Services, said they are trying to boost support in Saskatoon.
"We have joined Talk Suicide Canada, which is a national suicide prevention line, with hopes of connecting with folks in northern and rural communities who are facing isolation and necessarily don't have easy access to supports," she said, noting they will also soon provide services via social media to bridge that gap.
MacFarlane said, on average, 35 per cent of the 27,000 calls every year have suicide intervention and prevention aspects.
She said there is a need for postvention support in communities, especially for the most marginalized. Community engagement and care is required as lack of support is the key risk factor, MacFarlane said.
"Research has shown that for every person who has died by suicide, 135 persons are affected," she said.
"Those that are left behind after a person dies of suicide, that's extremely impactful to their health and wellness, so we will continue to offer psychosocial support to them."
If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts or having a mental health crisis, help is available. For an emergency or crisis situation, call 911.
You can also contact the Saskatchewan suicide prevention line toll-free, 24/7 by calling 1-833-456-4566, texting 45645, or chatting online.
You can contact the Regina mobile crisis services suicide line at 306-525-5333 or Saskatoon mobile crisis line at 306-933-6200.
You can also text CONNECT to 686868 and get immediate support from a crisis responder through the Crisis Text Line, powered by Kids Help Phone.
Kids Help Phone can also be reached at 1-800-668-6868, or you can access live chat counselling at www.kidshelpphone.ca.
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