Moving to Canada in my 40s helped me rediscover my strength as a woman

This First Person article is the experience of Marwa Abu Eita, who moved from Dubai to Regina in 2023. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ. This story is part of Welcome to Canada, a CBC News series about immigration told through the eyes of the people who have experienced it.

I was staring at the advertising message on my phone with tears in my eyes.

 "Would you like to move to Canada? Give us a call and let's help you find the way."

It was not the first time I cried alone in my car, waiting to give my husband a ride after his site inspections on another hot scorching day in Dubai. 

But it was the first time I was determined to do something about it, and find my own way in a new country.

For years, I had lived in my husband's shadow. I had left my job at an architectural firm to help build our own construction company. I thought we were going to be partners at work but I ended up becoming his personal assistant.

Over time, I lost myself and my confidence.

I thought that was my role like many other women in my Egyptian culture, standing behind my man and raising my kids. There's even a saying to justify that: "Behind every great man is a great woman."

But standing in my husband's shadow wasn't satisfying for me. I needed a change.

As an architect who worked in Dubai for over 15 years and spoke English fluently, I could see a path for myself to a permanent residence in Canada. But did I trust myself to walk that path to the end?

Family and friends were discouraging, asking why would I leave a stable job for some mysterious future?

My husband was also skeptical, as going through an immigration lawyer would be expensive, and fees had to be paid in advance with no guarantee of success. But when I pointed out that immigration would give our children a path to education, permanent residency and citizenship in Canada, he agreed. He supported me in my decision not to use a lawyer, and go through the process by myself, with a plan that he would join us once I established myself in a new country.  

Deep within myself, I knew I could achieve what I put my mind toward and knew I was doing the right thing, not just for myself, but for my son and daughter.

I started the long road to immigrating in 2017, first rebuilding my career as an architect in Dubai. I worked full-time at a consultant office while still working with our family business. I found time to study online at a Canadian university. I even started polishing my rusty French.

Every small achievement raised my level of confidence and pushed me to continue.

In April 2023 — six years after I first received that message on my phone — my 18-year-old son, my 15-year-old daughter and I landed in Canada, with the snow falling in Regina. 

It felt so fresh and wondrous, something we'd never experienced before. I loved it. 

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Maybe I got lucky, or did my research well, but thanks to a career bridging program connecting immigrants to potential employers, I got a work placement interview quickly. 

On the day of that interview, my heart was pounding. Sitting in the reception of the open layout office, I almost jumped out of my seat every time someone walked in my direction. 

However, when the interview started, everything changed. I met with two female lead architects who appreciated my experience and made me feel I was in the right place that empowered women in their career. The conversation flowed easily and I knew I got the job. I was over the moon. 

When I told my daughter the news, she didn't seem surprised. 

"I knew you would get the job," she told me. 

I realized I had shown her that she didn't need to be a woman standing behind a great man — that she could be her own person, standing on her own two feet. 

She loves our new life here, and hopes to work some day as a neurosurgeon in Regina — the cold city that warmly welcomed us. 

People told me I'd come to hate the winter, but I still love it every time the snow falls, just as it did on the day I first arrived in this country that promised me a future.

I am working on becoming a registered architect in Canada and I am surrounded by a supportive community. I have access to resources I need to continue growing professionally.

Although my husband is still in Dubai, my relationship with him has become stronger.

Being apart made us realize each other's value and the time difference between Dubai and Regina taught us to appreciate the times when we do get to talk with one another online — until the time he decides to join us here. 

As I stand next to my window and look at the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow-covered ground, I think back to that moment when I received that advertising message to come to Canada. It was my calling.

It reminded me of my most forgotten skill: my inner strength.

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