I want to be the representation I didn't see on TV growing up with a disability
Breaking Bad showed me how powerful representation can be
This First Person column is written by Dylan Earis, a graduate of the University of Regina's school of journalism. For more information about First Person stories, see the FAQ.
Growing up, I watched a lot of TV. I have a physical disability and unfortunately, I was stuck inside a lot, so TV was one of my companions.
As I flipped through the channels, I noticed something fairly obvious. Nearly everybody on the screen was standing up. There was nobody who looked like me and sat in a wheelchair.
I already felt marginalized in life and, now that I look back on it, I don't think TV helped me feel any better.
My TV could get upwards of 40 channels and I wasn't represented on any of them.
Then I found a light in the darkness. I started watching a show called Malcolm in the Middle, because not only was it funny, but it featured a character with a disability. Malcolm's friend Stevie was in a wheelchair.
I was so excited. Finally, somebody like me was on TV. I had to learn more about Stevie. Did we share the same disability? How did it impact his day-to-day life? Did he feel as marginalized by society as I did?
A quick search of the Internet shattered my world. Craig Lamar Traylor, the actor who played Stevie, did not have a physical disability. The joy I initially got from seeing Stevie on screen turned to disappointment that stuck with me for a long time.
It wasn't until I started watching Breaking Bad that my view of people with disabilities on TV changed forever.
Before putting on the first episode, I thought I knew what I was getting into. This is a show about a chemistry teacher who gets diagnosed with cancer and ends up cooking and selling drugs to support his family. Given the show's dark subject matter, I was not expecting to find something that would have a deep and positive impact on my life.
But the main character's son is a person with a physical disability. And it's not just any disability, it's cerebral palsy.
I have cerebral palsy!
He uses crutches to get around. I use a cane!
Thinking back to Stevie, I feared this was too good to be true. The character looks like he has a disability, but does he? I was worried that I would find out something I didn't like.
After another quick Google search, it turned out my fears were for naught. RJ Mitte, who played the character of Walter White Jr., does have cerebral palsy.
I couldn't wait to tell everybody I knew.
The sadness I felt when I saw Stevie and learned that he didn't have a disability was replaced with the joy of watching Walt. Jr. on the screen.
It turns out, that joy was soon replaced by the joy I felt by watching somebody else.
Myself.
Standing for representation
It was late afternoon on a Monday. I was in my motorized wheelchair, rolling alongside two of my classmates.
As students at the University of Regina's school of journalism, we had just finished interviewing people for a pretend TV news report on flu shots. We were looking for a place to do our stand-ups, when we settled on a place just outside the flu shot area.
Once my classmates did their stand-ups, I figured we were done for the day. I turned to go when my classmates asked if I wanted to try one of my own.
I considered this for a short time before saying yes.
I rolled in front of the camera. The irony was not lost on me. I was there doing a stand-up, while sitting down.
When I watched the footage of myself, it was the first time I'd seen a person with a disability doing a stand-up for a news piece. It solidified for me a desire to bring to news reporting what RJ Mitte did for entertainment on Breaking Bad. Yes, there have been journalists with disabilities like Tara Weber, who uses a wheelchair, but we don't see nearly enough representation in media when people with disabilites make up nearly 22 per cent of the Canadian population.
I want to be a person with a disability reporting on disabled issues.
I want people with disabilities to look at me the way I looked at RJ Mitte, and not the way I looked at Stevie.
I feel I've already started that journey, but I know there's a long way to go.
I look forward to every step.
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