I've spent years sacrificing for my hockey dream. Now due to COVID-19 I feel like it may be lost

This first person piece is by Lucas Ochitwa, who plays Junior A hockey in Saskatchewan for the Melfort Mustangs.

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In many small towns, you get your first hockey gear almost as soon as you can walk.

Before you know it you've got your first pair of skates, your first jersey, your first stick and your first experience playing the game. Parents, siblings and community members fill the rink, cheering you on and as you try to get your first goal. 

Once that happens, you're hooked.

That first goal was the beginning of my adventure with hockey. I've put years of hard work into the game with the goal of playing at the university level. Now, with the pandemic and the restrictions it brings, I'm starting to worry all my sacrifices will end up being for nothing.

Always on the road

I began my hockey adventure alongside my friends in my town of Wadena, Sask. The teams were small and the rinks were cold, but it was where I began to truly love the game.

At peewee age, I started playing AA in Humboldt, Sask., about 100 kilometres away from home. It meant a lot of driving and sacrifices for my family. I was always on the road. I missed out on other sports and weekend get-togethers with my friends.

It was was hard at times, but it was during those four years I really learned about hockey. It takes hard work to be part of a successful team. I had great coaches who pushed me to be better, faster and stronger.

Next, my adventure took me to Swift Current, Sask., five hours away from everything I knew. Coming from a town of 1,200 people to a city where the high school has more than 1,000 students was a huge adjustment. 

I had no licence, a new family to live with and a new school where I knew no one, but none of that mattered. I had hockey.

This is where things got serious. AAA midget was a job. It was dry-land training, evaluations, bus trips, hotels, high expectations, accountability and never getting to go home. I was lucky that at least one of my parents made the drive for almost every game. 

Between hockey, school and being away from home the stress was starting to pile up. I had to decide whether I wanted to play hockey "seriously" or just for "fun." I decided to keep pushing.

The difference one year makes

My last two years have been in Melfort playing Junior A with the Mustangs. I chose the Junior A route in hopes that it will lead to playing NCAA or U Sports. The team, coaching staff and community of Melfort have been incredible. They've pushed me and helped create opportunities. 

Then came the pandemic. This has been a season like no other, filled with mandatory precautionary guidelines. 

We had to have a negative test result before we even came back to Melfort and another before we were able to even leave our billet homes.  

There were masks, hand sanitizer, no socializing, no eating in restaurants, very limited contact with anyone who wasn't a part of the organization — whatever it took to keep our season going. Every player, coach and team staff member was doing their part and the precautions worked extremely well.  

Unfortunately, the league was shut down at the end of November.

Not only can my teammates and I not play games, but under the current restrictions being 19 years old means I am not allowed to be with any other person on the ice. If I were 18 or younger I could train in a group of eight. That one extra year puts me on the ice by myself, trying to stay in shape and motivated for a season that may or may not happen. 

Lots of questions, few answers

Staying motivated is a daily challenge because of the unknown future. If this season is done, will it be different in the fall? 

Even if the season does happen, having to train alone while the younger players can train together puts me at a competitive disadvantage. 

Success at the Junior A level is the biggest factor in determining if I get to keep playing the game competitively. I can't imagine what it's like for my 20-year-old teammates. For them, there is no next season.

There are lots of questions, but few answers. What is the right choice moving forward? Is this a temporary setback? 

Hockey is my adventure, but there are athletes my age in other sports going through the same thing. They too have made sacrifices and chose to pursue athletics as a part of their post-secondary education. They are missing opportunities just like I am and —  with age eligibility restrictions —none of us will get them back. 

Last year, this year and next year will determine if all the work I've put in will mean anything.

I've sacrificed normalcy for years chasing my goal. Now it feels like it may be lost. 

This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

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