17 years after grieving student graduates, she gives back at high school that helped

Susan Gaudet says she can't remember crossing the stage to pick up her diploma at her graduation from Three Oaks Senior High School in Summerside, P.E.I., 17 years ago.

Gaudet's father, her one remaining parent, had died after being diagnosed with colon cancer just weeks before, and the last few weeks had been a surreal blur of hospital visits, funeral planning and final exams for Gaudet.

"It was a pretty hectic time, but during that time the staff at Three Oaks were amazing. They came to the hospital at night to check on me," said Gaudet. "It was pretty amazing to have that kind of support. I've always wanted to pay it forward in a way." 

This week, client meetings took her back to Summerside, and she decided the time was right to drop by Three Oaks and talk about giving something back — a $500 bursary to award to a graduating student pursuing education in digital arts, such as photography or videography.

Gaudet said she wanted to give back to TOSH and the teachers who pulled together to help her graduate, as well as honour her father and give a boost to a student.

'Fighting to get to stick around'

"His goal for me was to see me graduate from high school," said Gaudet of her father. She now lives in Charlottetown and runs her own photography business, Anita Marie Photography, named after her mother.

"For him, that was a big thing — a lot of people in my family hadn't [graduated]. He was fighting to get to stick around for that time."

In fact he was so determined to live, Gaudet said she had to assure him it was OK for him to die before she got her diploma. 

"I went in and told him that he can stop fighting and that I would be OK and walk across the stage for him. I wore an angel pin on my graduation robe to commemorate him," Gaudet said. 

Teachers would allow her extra-long breaks every day as she left school to take her dad the daily paper in the hospital. The school's guidance counsellor would come to the hospital to check on her in the evening.

Teachers encouraged classmates to support Gaudet, and allowed them time to attend her father's funeral, even though they were in the midst of final exams. Many staff attended the funeral. And they allowed Gaudet to take her exams on her own schedule.

Gaudet said she also had great friends who helped her cope. But her mother had died of cancer when she was just seven years old, and she had few other supports — it had been just her and her dad for 11 years, and they were very close. 

'Adrenaline kicks in'

How did an 18-year-old cope with the grief, and manage to study for exams and graduate? 

"Looking back, I don't know," she said. "Adrenaline kicks in. And I knew that's what he wanted, so that was a big part of it for me. It wasn't easy, but it was what needed to be done. 

"It's amazing what people can do when they come together," she said, of the many people who helped her get through graduation. 

She received a standing ovation as she crossed the stage that day, Gaudet said. 

'Pretty amazing'

This week, Gaudet met with Three Oaks' school counsellor about giving back to the school with a bursary in her father's name — the Donald J. Gaudet Memorial Bursary. 

She was planning to give $500 each year for three years, but when he told her those who give $1,000 or more get to be on stage to present students with their bursaries, she quickly pledged that amount.

After sharing her excitement about the bursary on social media, Gaudet said she has been peppered with pledges of donations to help her reach her $1,000 goal. 

"I didn't make the post to get money from people," she said. "It's pretty amazing to think, like, nobody knows me but they want to help.

"The pay-it-forward aspect is a pretty powerful thing." 

She said she hopes the student receiving the bursary may also be inspired to pay it forward. 

"Had it not been for people helping me, I would not be in the position I'm in today," she said. 

"I'm lucky to be making money doing something I love, so why not take some of it to help somebody maybe be able to do the same?" 

'An amazing 360'

What will it be like to be at the school 18 years later, helping another student at graduation?

"It will be an amazing 360," Gaudet said. "Being on stage and getting to do it again will be a gift.

"It's going to be a pretty great feeling to get to stand on stage and get to give somebody that little step, to hopefully a direction that I'm in, to get to make all of these little moments with people." 

Gaudet said she loves photography because it allows her to meet people during some of the most significant and emotional moments of their lives — weddings, engagements, welcoming newborns, and other milestones. 

Her father loved to take photos as an amateur, she said, and she spent many Saturdays with him in the Kodak store in Summerside as he chatted about photography with friends there. 

"He would be proud, and happy," about the award, she said, choking back tears. 

The school is happy to have the donation, said guidance counsellor Jim Donovan. He wasn't at TOSH when Gaudet attended, but said he thinks the same kind of compassion would happen today.

"Heaven forbid when someone has such a horrific thing happening, each one of us in the school system would do the same thing," he said. "You do the right thing when somebody's hurt, and give them a helping hand." 

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