How to break up with your hairdresser

Do you give them a second chance, or make a quick cut? It's a small province — what happens when you inevitably see them at the grocery store?

We're talking about what for many is one of the most trusted people in their lives — their hairdresser. And because our hair is so important to us, the hairdresser/client relationship can be a fraught one. 

CBC spoke with Donna Pound Bernard, co-owner at Picasso's Shear Talent and Ray Martin at Ray's Place Barber shop, both in Charlottetown. 

'She phoned me'

I also asked on Facebook for hairdresser-client breakup stories. 

"Ugh, it was awful. She phoned me. Serious discomfort," said Melissa Batchilder.

"Just go to another salon. Say nothing unless it was so bad you need a refund. In that case, say so to the owner," suggests Pam Scott. 

"I think it is common courtesy to let her or him know you decided to go elsewhere," commented Pauline Reeves of Charlottetown.

'You wonder why'

Pound Bernard has been hairdressing for 33 years and has seen customers come and go. She'd love to hear from customers as to why they're leaving, she said, as well as to thank them for their business.

"It's always a very sad day when you lose a client," she said. "Sometimes you wonder why — especially if you don't see them again."

It takes a lot of bravery to call your hairdresser and tell them why you won't be returning, but Pound Bernard says "it is pretty lovely when they do."

"Naturally we always think it's something we've done wrong," she said. "And sometimes it is, but sometimes it's something to do with the client." Finances, moving, or changing to a family member who's become a hairdresser are top reasons she's been given. 

Martin has been a barber for 55 years and says when clients have broken up with him, "they just don't come back." 

His longest-standing client now has been coming to him for 50 years, he said. 

The top reason people give Martin for breaking up is they have a family member who's begun hairdressing. 

'Cold shoulder'

Occasionally customers will tell Martin they weren't happy with their last cut and insist on taking things in a different direction, and he said he's happy to oblige. 

Martin would like clients to tell him if he's on his last chance to get their hair right before they jump ship. "That would be nice instead of just — cold shoulder," he said. 

Sometimes communication breaks down and "you're not a good fit," Pound Bernard said — when she's been unable to make a client happy. 

She's initiated a break up only a couple of times, she said. 

"You agonize over that, that's the worst," she said. "If you handle it right it's OK too. I still care about the person there I just can't do something, I can't understand." 

'We each moved on'

Because P.E.I. is such a small place — only 150,000 souls — hairdressers and clients are bound to see one another, which can lead to some awkward moments. 

"After 20 years I just stopped going, and it was quite awkward when I ran into her with a brand new super cut. But we each moved on with our lives," Mark Enman of Summerside commented on Facebook.

"Eventually you're going to see them," said Martin. "I've come face to face with people like that and they'll cross the street so they don't have to meet you!" That customer, he reveals, was his client for 30 years. Their political views differed, Martin said, which may have ultimately played a part. 

"I really care for everybody I get to enjoy — even if it didn't work out between us as far as hairdresser and client goes, the friendship part always did," said Pound Bernard. "Especially in a small town, because you do still see people and care for them and you don't want them to feel awkward in your presence, more so." 

Sometimes clients will even move to another stylist in the same salon — Pound Bernard says that doesn't bother her.

"Someone else heard what they were saying maybe better and then just took them in a different direction that I hadn't thought of, which is great!" she said. "I actually love when that happens because I still get to talk to the client." 

'We're all grown-ups'

"All hairdressers know that people come and go — never worry about moving on if you feel you need to. We're all grown-ups," Pound Bernard said. "It's fun to try fresh and new, but it's also nice to stay with knowledge as well." 

Another reason Pound Bernard would like to hear from long-time customers who are leaving is so she can reassure them it's OK.

"I would always say if it doesn't work out where you're going, then I would like to see you again," she said. 

"It's just part of the game, people come and go," Martin said. "I've never really given it a second thought, to lament about it — they've gone their way and I've gone my way." 

Luckily, there remains a shortage of hairdressers and barbers on P.E.I., so losing customers isn't a huge financial blow to most, both stylists said. 

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