Being openly gay in P.E.I.: Three couples on the effect of Orlando
'lt is now our duty to be even more proud of who we are as gay men'
A huge turnout for a vigil Tuesday night in Charlottetown brought many Islanders together to support not only those who died in Orlando, Fla., and their families, but also the LGBTQ community here on P.E.I.
- Orlando shooting vigil in Charlottetown attracts huge crowd
- Islanders react to Orlando nightclub shootings with shock, horror
I'm more inclined to be visibly queer now.— Renee Steeves
But has the shooting of 49 people at gay bar Pulse in Orlando changed the way gay couples on P.E.I. feel about expressing themselves publicly?
CBC asked some couples for their views, and here's what they said.
Blake Caissie and Alex Beattie
- Engaged
- Plan to be more visible now
"Having moved back to the Island from both larger populated cities in Canada — Toronto and Halifax — my fiancé Alex and I have never had any issues regarding us publicly displaying our love and affection for each other," said Blake Caissie, 29, a Charlottetown hairdresser who owns his own salon.
The couple has been openly comfortable as a couple for over a year now, and receives compliments and appreciation from friends and strangers, Caissie said.
"However, being comfortable in our own skin and not feeling pressured to prove that you are gay to the public, we feel, actually makes people approach us more! We love to travel and be social," he said.
"In the aftermath of this horrific massacre in Orlando feel it is now our duty to be even more proud of who we are as gay men and stand united with all of the LGBT community as a whole."
Dave Stewart and Dave Morrow
- Married since 2012
- Plan to be more visible now
"I've spent too much of my life trying to make sure that I didn't give myself away as gay by watching how I walk, watching how I talk," said Dave Stewart, 51, who works at a Charlottetown advertising agency.
"Visibility is the key. It's the key to helping society at large be better," Stewart adds. He believes he owes it to other gay people, gay kids and society at large to be a role model by living more openly as a gay person.
"I hope I have the strength of character to continue to lean into my husband when we're at the movies, I hope I continue to greet my friends with a warm hug, and I hope a kiss will never be seen as a threat ever again," he concludes.
Lisa Arsenault and Marie Bastarache
- Engaged
- The same, with some change
"We have always been well received, and we don't hide our affection in public. We have literally had people come up to us and compliment us and tell us how beautiful it is to see two people so in love," said Marie Bastarache, 34, a substitute teacher, shown here with her partner Lisa Arsenault, 38.
"We often chuckle about how no one even pays much attention to us as we walk hand in hand through the mall with our small army of little ones," Bastarache said of their brood of three girls.
However, where the couple had planned to visit a gay bar in Halifax this summer, they've now cancelled — fearful of copycat killings.
"I know some would see that as us giving in to the fear, but we have little ones to think about, so it's not worth the risk for us. You just never know."
"Gay bars are amazing sanctuaries for those who feel they can not express their love for their partner in the general public, and want a night out where they can relax, hold their partners hand, dance, and feel safe from potential violence just for wanting to reach out for their partner," Bastarache added.
"I hope that those who really need such a sanctuary will not be deterred."
Bastarache believes gay women are more publicly accepted than gay men. "I think that makes people feel more uncomfortable, unfortunately," she added.