A Congolese-Canadian law student talks imposter syndrome and being enough

Throughout my entire academic journey, I have had feelings of doubt toward my academic self-efficacy. This led to me filling what I viewed as gaps in my academic performance with volunteer or professional experiences.

But I never looked at the larger issue: Why was it so difficult to recognize my own abilities?

Imposter syndrome at its core encompasses feelings of chronic self-doubt and intellectual fraudulence. As a Congolese-Canadian woman, I believe there is external proof to support my personal diagnosis of "I do not belong here." 

Choosing to enter the legal profession meant I would be entering a predominantly white field where I felt I would be an outsider. It is known that Black people were over represented in the North American criminal justice system, despite being a fraction of the population — but there are not as many Black people on the other side, working as clerks, lawyers and judges.

Biases are present everyday, in almost all of the things we learn

When I reflected on my heritage, I realized that the few times I was taught about the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), it was presented as one of the poorest nations of the world  — without any insight given to the rich mineral reserves that populated the nation or the impact of colonization on its people.

I learned that others should not allow me to undersell my personal value and the value of my home country, the Democratic Republic of Congo.- Grace Kabengele

My undergraduate thesis centered on the Democratic Republic of Congo and that research helped me understand how societal barriers truly affect our personal perceptions. I learned that others should not allow me to undersell my personal value and the value of DRC.

The concept of imposter syndrome appeared to encapsulate everything that I felt; but I learned that it does not capture the complex effects of systemic racism, classism, xenophobia, and other biases that often permeated my academic experience as a racialized student.

Unsurprisingly, imposter syndrome has been viewed as a fairly universal feeling experienced by racialized individuals, especially women. After all, we tend to be marginally represented in most professional environments. 

As I progressed academically, I hoped I would find role models who, like me, doubted their success within their professional field but made it out on top. And in many ways I did.

However, I hope that I can find more role models, especially because I have never met a Black legal professional who shared my status as a Black Congolese woman.

The importance of diverse spaces and voices

There is no simple answer to overcoming imposter syndrome. A great first step is to create an environment which fosters diversity of racial, ethnic, and gender identities within current professional spheres like the legal sector. From there, we should each take initiative to learn from the diverse voices within the field.

There is a strong need for more Black people in professional fields, including law.

For students at the outset of their careers, there is an intrinsic comfort by seeing someone who looks similar to you, navigating the same challenges. They remind you that you're not alone.

Related:

More than a summer law program: A community of support for Black youth

Being among Black lawyers who share my history and culture felt like coming home

I never dreamed of becoming a lawyer, but law school is exactly where I am meant to be

Allyship and representation: on being the only Black law student at my university

U of A has one of the lowest percentages of Black law school students in the country, report shows

Halifax hosts Black Law Students' Association of Canada conference

For more stories about the experiences of Black Canadians — from anti-Black racism to success stories within the Black community — check out Being Black in Canada, a CBC project Black Canadians can be proud of. You can read more stories here.