Barb's Benches pay tribute to victim of domestic violence

Denenia Dobbin sits on a purple bench overlooking a small pond in Dartmouth's Shubie Park.

"We wanted a purple that was going to stand out," Dobbin said. "And because purple is the colour for victims of violence."

The bench will be officially dedicated to Dobbin's mother, Barb Baillie, this weekend.  

"On October 19, 1990, my father decided to take her life. He strangled her with a rope around her throat," Dobbin said.

With help from Dobbin's MLA, Brendan Maguire, Barb's Benches is now a government funded project to remember victims of domestic violence. So far, there are two benches in memory of Baillie. The other one is at Long Lake Provincial Park.

• Listen to Denenia Dobbin's interview about her mother

The project will see more benches to come in memory of other victims.

"I wanted her death to have meaning. And to me, this is her voice," Dobbin told CBC's Information Morning.

'A very humble person'

Dobbin remembers her mother fondly.

"My mother was a very humble person. She didn't grow up with much. She came from a family where the was a lot of love, but … they weren't well to do," Dobbin said.

"So my mother, she never really expected a whole lot, and she was very giving and caring."

Dobbin thinks her mother was verbally and mentally abused long before it became physical.

"Growing up, we didn't realize that as being abuse," she said.

She thinks others did notice.

"A lot of times people don't want to step in because they feel it's not their place to step in and," Dobbin pauses, "something terrible happens."

October 19, 1990

The day Baillie died she was going to meet up with her siblings and mother for a family portrait. Everyone was together for the first time in 26 years.

Dobbin was 23 at the time, newly married with a young daughter. Her four brothers were 14 to 21 years old.

Dobbin went to pick her mom up for the portraits.

"My father came up out of the basement and I was aware at that point that something was definitely wrong. And when I rushed down to the basement and opened the door, that's when I found my mother," Dobbin said.

"She was already gone at that point."

'There's still a lot of anger'

Baillie was officially pronounced dead at the hospital. That's when the anger and shock hit Dobbin.

"There's still a lot of anger, and some days I think there's still a lot of shock," she said. "I still feel like maybe one morning I'm going to wake up and it was just all a nightmare, but it's not. It's real. And my family and I we live it, every single day."

Dobbin's father plead guilty to second-degree murder. He served 18 years in prison before being released on parole.

Baillie is pleased to see the benches in an area where people can sit down, relax and see their meaning.

"My hope is that maybe one day somebody will be walking through here and they'll sit on this bench and they'll see the plaque that's on there and there'll be a number where they can reach out if they're going through an abusive relationship and need help," she said.

"I wish there would have been a bench for my mother."

The bench in Shubie Park will be officially dedicated to her mother's memory this Sunday, just before a walk organized by Silent Witness Nova Scotia.

At the walk, there will be silhouettes representing some of the 51 women killed by their partners in Nova Scotia since 1990, including Baillie. The event runs from noon to 3 p.m. 

If you or someone you care about has been the victim of domestic violence, there are places you can turn.

The Nova Scotia Advisory Council on the Status of Women runs a website called the Domestic Violence Resource Centre.