Mother of Rehtaeh Parsons brings anti-bullying message to Corner Brook
Leah Parsons has felt the devastation of losing a teenaged daughter to suicide, knowing what her child suffered — at other people's hands and from other people's words.
The mother of 17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons is in Corner Brook this week, talking to students and a women's group about sexual assault, the laws on consent, and the epidemic of cyberbullying.
"After her trauma of sexual assault....the photo being shared, how devastating is that to anybody, especially to a young teenager, trying to find out who they're going to be?" said Parsons.
The Nova Scotia teenager took her own life in 2013. She told her family she had been photographed being sexually assaulted at a party and that she had been mercilessly bullied online for months.
No charges were initially laid against the teenagers involved in the alleged sexual assault, but two young men were eventually charged and convicted of distributing child pornography, as they had shared a sexually explicit photo of Rehtaeh.
Parsons emphasized the need for stronger laws against cyberviolence "because people are getting away with it. Once you become a target, it's not just somebody saying something mean to you. Everybody jumps in, so then you [believe you] have no value, and your self-worth goes down."
She added, "It's actually taking someone down, socially. Her mental health deteriorated so fast that it was shocking."
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String of contentious cases
Parsons's visit to Corner Brook comes in the wake of two controversial court cases involving sexual assault and consent.
In Halifax, taxi driver Bassam Al-Rawi was recently acquitted of sexual assault. Police found him with a partially naked passenger passed out in the back seat of his taxi in 2015.
Judge Gregory Lenehan ruled last week that the Crown failed to prove beyond reasonable doubt that anything nonconsensual happened. Lenehan said "there's no question" the woman was drunk.
"This does not mean, however, that an intoxicated person cannot give consent to sexual activity. Clearly, a drunk can consent," the judge said.
According to Parsons, the Halifax case was "a clear case of a witness, DNA (evidence) and a woman passed out and still no conviction. We need new laws regarding what is consent and what is sexual assault."
In St. John's, a Supreme Court of Newfoundland and Labrador jury found Royal Newfoundland Constabulary officer Doug Snelgrove not guilty of sexual assault against a woman. Snelgrove had given the woman a ride home in a police cruiser in 2014.
The case hinged largely on whether the complainant, who was 21 at the time, had consented to sex or was in a position to consent.
The woman said Snelgrove offered her a ride after a night of drinking, and she could not remember agreeing to have sex.
On Wednesday, the Crown announced it would appeal the Snelgrove verdict.
Better education needed
Parsons says parents and society in general need to educate children about what is and isn't consent, long before they're sexually active.
"People don't all of a sudden have these views about about what is rape, so we're socialized at a very young age as to what is rape and what is consent."
According to Parsons, children "on the playground" need to learn what is consent, not in terms of sexual assault, "but what is consent in terms of 'I don't want you doing that,' and [respecting] boundaries, so it starts when we're young."
Parsons, who was also scheduled to speak at an International Women's Day "Bread and Roses" dinner with members of the Corner Brook Women's Centre, said "I wouldn't be speaking out across Canada and bringing all these emotions back up if I didn't feel that change could happen."
She added, "It comes from making something socially unacceptable first."