Communist revolutions and 50/50 draws: People are having fun with the N.L. government's suggestion site

If online votes are any indication, the public thinks it's a good idea for Newfoundland and Labrador to have a communist revolution.

That's according to the provincial government's new Government Renewal Initiative website, where "Communist Revolution" is the highest-rated response to the question of how government could be more efficient. 

With increasing debt and tumbling oil prices, government is looking to the public for suggestions on how to get the province back into financial shape. 

A new online platform asks people for their thoughts on how government can do things more efficiently, make money, and save cash. The initiative was launched after Premier Dwight Ball and senior ministers unveiled a plan last week on eliciting public feedback on a deepening financial crisis. 

While most of the suggestions so far have been serious, a few people decided to have some fun. Here are some of the less-plausible suggestions offered up so far.

An important note: we've copied the entries verbatim. 

Replace Tap Water with Blue Star

"Well get rid of those flitration systems, they cost a fortune. Latch it all on a few kegs and replace it with that.

So first off, forget the treatment plants and all the money we spends on that, we don't need it no more.

Next, imagine all da jobs. Everybody wants to make blue star, who don't wanna make blue star?

Finally, save me a bit a money, save everone really. Who don't buy a case of bluestar twice a week? 

Why the contribution is important

If they don't like bluestar they still gotta walk to the store to buy blackhorse and then they gets their exersize, solves our obesety problem too."

50/50

"Get an exemption from ALC to be able to host province wide 50/50 draws. This will draw in a lot of money with someone being fortunate enough to win half the prize. It's a quick cash crunch fix."

Communist Revolution

"The current fiscal troubles faced by the province are rooted in capitalism. Capitalism exploits working people and public coffers for the benefit of a few wealthy oligarchs, and yes this happens in NL too.

If we carry out the communist revolution then there would be plenty of funding to go around. We should be receiving the benefit of the resources that are taken from here and sold at profit by capitalist corporations. Why should they get rich from our resources and from our labour?

With such reappropriated wealth, we can operate our society on the principle of 'from each according to ability, to each according to need' then everyone would be looked after and some of the work that desperately needs doing would be done."

Invite the Turks and Caicos to join Newfoundland and Labrador

"The Turks and Caicos is a group of Caribbean islands. Wouldn't it be awesome if we had Caribbean islands as part of our province? At least some part of the province would have nice weather at all times. It would significantly raise the province's average temperature and number of days with sunshine. It would reduce the distance between Jamaica and the province, which would be handy for importing Screech. We would have an absurdly long official name: "The province of Newfoundland and Labrador and Turks and Caicos." Politicians would say hilariously politically correct things like, "As a Newfoundlander and Labradorian and Turks and Caicos Islander...(insert statement in the comments below)."

Sell the Brass Busts of Former Premiers

"They are the perfect height for barstools. It's obvious, really.

Why the contribution is important

Increased revenue, improved posture."

Resettle Dildo into Broad Cove

"As we know, Newfoundland and Labrador is awash in red ink - much of which comes from the infrastructure costs required to service so many small communities. To remedy this, I propose we consider a more robust resettlement program.

As an initial experiment, we should start by moving the community of Dildo into the neighbouring town of Broad Cove.

Why the contribution is important

Both communities are close to St. John's, so it will be easy for bureaucrats to watch it happen and evaluate the process before rolling it out on a larger scale across the province.

It would also be an easy resettlement, since all Dildo has to do to get to Broad Cove is sail down Spread Eagle Bay. Since both towns are so close already, there will be very little mess to mop up afterwards. And if it goes well, it might lay the foundation of a future population growth strategy.

But most importantly, moving Dildo into Broad Cove will be a powerful symbol of the sort of things the government expects from people in these hard times."