With new school year just 2 weeks away, expert shares tips for helping anxious kids
Psychologist Brent Macdonald says now is the time to start addressing the ‘what ifs’
For many students, the last couple of weeks of summer vacation are filled with largely positive anticipation and excitement. But for kids who suffer from intense school-based anxiety, psychologist Brent Macdonald says this is the ideal time to start communicating with children — and their schools.
"There's a bit of a scale there that ranges from that level of anticipation to a more anxious anticipation, which is a lot of 'what if' questions," said Macdonald, who works with students and schools in Nova Scotia, P.E.I., Alberta, the Northwest Territories and Yukon.
"What if I don't have friends? What if my friends aren't in my class? What if I get a teacher who I don't get along with or a number of teachers I don't get along with, perhaps what happens if I don't make the sports team? What happens if I ... go to the lunchroom and there's no one to sit with?"
Start the conversation
Macdonald says the last two weeks of August are the perfect time to start an open conversation with kids about any worries they may have about school.
"Not leaving it until September comes around and then everyone's anxious — there's no time, everyone's in a panic and there's no really no time to discuss things," said Macdonald.
But he said it's important not to let those discussions eclipse the rest of summer vacation.
"We want to make sure we're also not dwelling on things too much either because we still have two weeks or so of summer, you know, we want to enjoy that too. So we don't want it all to be tied into anxiety about the school year because that could be unhealthy as well."
Communicate with school
Macdonald said it's important for parents and caregivers of kids with intense school-based anxiety to connect with schools in advance so that teachers have time to come up with a plan — from sending the student a friendly email to having them come in for a tour of the classroom before the first day.
And he said the same is true for students who require special learning supports. The adults in their lives have to become advocates for them before the school year gets underway.
The more we know ahead of time as educators, the better we can plan. The better we can plan, the more success we're going to have.— Brent Macdonald, psychologist
"We don't start advocating once things are already out of control — schools need to know as soon as possible ... what kind of needs that are going to be coming into their classroom ... English-language students, learning disabilities, ADHD, autism or neurodiverse-spectrum kind of conditions."
And Macdonald says teachers need to know in advance when kids have suffered traumatic experiences.
"We see a lot of new Canadians coming in who have lived through war zones and that sort of thing. It's not very wise for those students to enter the classroom ... and school have no idea what's going on," he said.
"The more we know ahead of time as educators, the better we can plan. The better we can plan, the more success we're going to have."
The avoidance trap
Macdonald says one of the big issues he sees as a psychologist is when students tell their parents or caregivers that they're simply too anxious to go to school on the first day of class, and they go home.
"That's dangerous. That can set a really scary precedent because once that's once that avoidance behaviour is in, it can become replicated," he said.
"So by the time October, November rolls around, we're missing a lot of school because the avoidance has been reinforced."
He said instead, students should be encouraged to go to school, and a number of strategies can be arranged to help them feel comfortable and less anxious in the classroom — and like part of the larger school community.
"We all have that need to connect, and by looking at a school as a community that's not just students, but it's students and teachers and parents and staff and support staff and those sorts of folks, you can actually have a very successful school year even with a student who may be prone to a bit more anxiety."
It gets better
Macdonald said he wants people to know that things do get better, even if the first week or so are rough.
"Certainly by the end of September ... that anxiety is usually decreased significantly simply because that's how anxiety works. We can't maintain a high level of anxiety over a long period of time. It's too exhausting," he said.
"So we can anticipate that even students who are experiencing considerable anxiety, in many cases that anxiety will be diminished if we just give them some time, give them some strategies, allow for communication, and things by and large will resolve over time."
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