After the devastating crash in southwestern Manitoba, support networks rally to console the community
'Sometimes you just sit and weep with someone as they're weeping,' deacon says
Frances Stewart's role as a deacon at St. Paul's Anglican Church in Dauphin requires her to be an open ear for community members.
But on Friday, she was the one who needed someone to lean on when she learned her close friend was one of 15 people killed in a devastating crash in southwestern Manitoba.
Community members in Dauphin are turning to each other to cope, leaning on support from friends and family while looking out for their mental health.
Stewart said that's been an early theme in the wake of the crash. "I don't think you give practical advice, particularly at this early stage," said Stewart.
"I think you listen, you try to absorb all that they're saying, you offer a few words of comfort, sometimes it's a hand on a shoulder, sometimes you just sit and weep with someone as they're weeping."
Most of the people involved in the crash were seniors; 10 people remain in hospital with injuries as a result of Thursday's crash.
Stewart said the emotional fallout from the crash will be acutely felt by those who lost a grandparent. "Whenever there is a traumatic event like this, it is of course, intergenerational death, always is, but with grandparents it comes right to the fore," she said.
"I think there's going to be so much, again, so much sadness and a sense of loss, because they'll be the immediate peer group of those who have died."
Frances Chartrand of the Manitoba Métis Federation (MMF) said that with the Red River Métis, the most important people in their families are elders and seniors.
"To us, that's our most prized possession at home, especially the grandmothers and grandfathers," she said. "So, you're losing the leader of the family that paved the way to make sure that we have a great place to live."
Chartrand said the MMF is working with the city of Dauphin and its mayor, David Bosiak, to provide assistance if people need things like lunch or snacks. Chartrand added the MMF has also reached out to Prairie Mountain Health to see if they need social workers from their agencies to provide mental health support to community members.
"Dauphin is a small community, it's a homey community," said Chartrand.
Struggle underneath the silence, priest says
Father Michel Nault, a priest at St. Viator's Roman Catholic Parish in Dauphin, said it's been challenging because he's not seeing a lot of families currently. He said many people aren't reaching out yet because they're still trying to figure things out.
Nault said he's waiting until people reach out to him because he knows they will. And when they're ready for him, he said he'll be there for them.
"I used an expression yesterday when I was talking to somebody and I said 'it's full silence,'" he said. "It's a sense that you're not hearing a lot, but you know that underneath there's a lot of struggles and a lot of pain, a lot of sadness."
Social support is a critical and preventive factor when dealing with mental health struggles, said Dr. Rehman Abdulrehman, a consulting and clinical psychologist and director of Clinical Psychology Manitoba.
He said that talking to people about feelings and even fears can help shift perspective, adding this is something anyone could do "right off the hop."
"At a time when crisis that can leave us feeling alone, it is very critical that we feel supported, and together with other people," said Abdulrehman.
First responders may also need support
Thursday's crash on the Trans Canada Highway could also leave first responders with post-traumatic stress disorder, he said.
Abdulrehman said these events wear away at the mental health of first responders. He added it's good that first responders, particularly RCMP, have access to mental health support.
However, he said something that sometimes stands in the way is a culture where people assume they can "walk off" their mental health. Abdulrehman said in this case, that's not something people should do.
"First responders are actually dealing with numerous events that are equally as bad on a regular basis and that starts to wear away at their mental health," said Abuldrehman. "If you think about the coating on a wire, so to speak, that gets worn away if you don't have a protective coating, and people are more likely to experience trauma."
Stewart said St. Paul's Anglican Church is working to address the incident with its congregation in its service Sunday. She said the ministerial association will also meet Tuesday to plan and figure out what else it can do for the community.
In the meantime, Stewart said the outpouring of support and concern has meant a great deal of comfort to individuals in the community.
"I just know that the wider community and people right across Canada and other places have been reaching out in wonderful ways," she said.
With files from Nolan Kehler, Shannah-Lee Vidal, Chelsea Kemp and Erin Collins