Former Winnipeg football coach apologizes to players he sexually abused for 'hurt and betrayal'

WARNING | This story contains details of sexual abuse.

A former high school football coach who pleaded guilty to sexually abusing players apologized to them for the first time in a Winnipeg courtroom on Wednesday.

"I would like to apologize to all the victims and their families for all the hurt, grief, shame and sorrow that I caused them," Kelsey McKay read from a statement during a sentencing hearing in Manitoba provincial court. 

"I know this hurt and betrayal will affect them all for the rest of their lives," he said, reading from the statement but not turning around to face the audience as he did.

"One hundred per cent of the responsibility lies with me."

McKay, 53, pleaded guilty last year to 11 charges — nine counts of sexual assault and two charges of luring — in connection with the abuse of nine former football players, most between 15 and 18 years old, he coached between 2003 and 2016.

CBC News is not naming them because of a publication ban.

McKay, who was arrested in April 2022, was a teacher and a prominent figure in Winnipeg's football community. He was promoted to head coach at Churchill High School in 2003 before he went to Vincent Massey Collegiate in Winnipeg in 2009.

In an agreed statement of facts, Crown prosecutor Katie Dojack said McKay would invite players to his home, where he would show them pornography, massage them and touch their genitals.

During their address to Judge Raymond Wyant on Wednesday, McKay's lawyers — Josh Weinstein and Lisa LaBossiere — railed against the 25-year sentence proposed by Dojack, calling it "excessive" and "crushing" given McKay's age and his guilty plea.

LaBossiere said a sentence of just over 13 years would be more "meaningful" for McKay, calling 25 years "a monstrous number" that would surpass what is consistent with his offences.

Weinstein said McKay's guilty plea should be a significant factor "to his credit" in his sentencing, since he did not know what sentence the Crown would seek.

Weinstein also suggested McKay saved the court of resources since he opted not to go to trial.

McKay did not have a criminal record prior to his arrest, but has since suffered emotionally and economically, after losing his employment and his house, Weinstein said. 

He added that McKay's Métis ancestry and the fact that his parents attended Catholic day schools should be considered.

'Not a lost cause': defence

He also told the court McKay "is not a lost cause," since the former coach has expressed remorse several times about the abuse.

"This is a journey and it is not an easy, straight line," said Weinstein. "He recognizes where he is and where he needs to get to."

Crown prosecutor Dojack told the court systemic factors do not affect McKay's guilt for his crimes, and there were no indications of abuse during his childhood.

McKay created a "psychologically dangerous" environment for the high school players and had opportunities to stop his abuse at any time, said Dojack. All of the evidence has shown that McKay was "in control of his thoughts and actions" throughout the years of abuse, she said.

"He has no history of mental health challenges, no cognitive limitations, no history of substance abuse issues, and he regularly used psychological manipulation," the prosecutor said.

She also proposed that McKay be required to stay at least 200 metres away from schools and daycares, be prohibited from contacting his victims, and forbidden from using the internet or any other technology to access images or videos of minors.

McKay promised in his statement that he will be a responsible and positive member of society.

"My goal for the future is to learn more about myself and the causes, events and circumstances that, regrettably, have brought us all to this moment," he said.

Some of McKay's victims and their family members delivered victim impact statements in court on Tuesday, the first day of his sentencing hearing, including the mother of a man who took his own life nearly two decades after McKay's abuse.

Judge Wyant asked McKay's lawyers how they thought he should address the man's suicide in McKay's sentencing, which he described as a "collateral consequence of McKay's actions."

LaBossiere said giving McKay a sentence similar to murder for the man's suicide would be "an error in law."

Wyant will sentence McKay at a later date.

Support is available for anyone who has been sexually assaulted. You can access crisis lines and local support services through this government of Canada website or the Ending Violence Association of Canada database. ​​If you're in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911. 

If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:

• Canada's Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 988.
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868. Text 686868. Live chat counselling on the website.
• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.
• This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.