Winnipegger who hasn't seen her family in more than a year pleads for pandemic patience

This First Person article is the experience of Joanne Seiff, a Winnipeg parent and freelance writer. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

Last week, I had a medical appointment. It was the first time I was indoors, with strangers, in a long time. 

My partner is working from home. Our kids are in remote school. Our efforts to "stay home" mirror many others' in Manitoba. I'd thought it wasn't noteworthy. I'd forgotten momentarily that for some, this wasn't the case.

As I waited, wearing my mask, I watched an older woman in her 70s, without a mask, speaking to the receptionist. She announced that it was her son's birthday, and how they would not be able to eat in a restaurant together.

The patient customer service-oriented receptionist responded with, "And how will you celebrate instead?"

The woman explained, in an annoyed tone, that they would have takeout together at her condo. At this point in Manitoba's COVID-19 restrictions, separate households couldn't eat together at restaurants, but her son could visit her home.

I spoke up to say how lucky it was that she could see her son. I tried not to say anything uncomfortable. 

I explained that I haven't seen my family in the U.S. since October 2019. The lady looked shocked. 

I have never before gone so long without seeing my family.- Joanne Seiff

I explained in November 2019, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and began treatment. Our family decided it would be best if we didn't visit during treatment, as we usually stay with my parents.

Travelling internationally meant taking two flights with our kids (there are no direct flights) and bringing germs with our hugs while my mom was weak and vulnerable. We agreed to wait until she felt stronger and had completed treatment.

Then the pandemic came. 

Travelling stopped. My husband's relatives in New York City were in lockdown and his dad's wife died. The U.S.-Canada border closed.

My family has now done funerals and holidays via Zoom and FaceTime. I am the first to say this is a hard experience.

Privileged

Even so, we consider ourselves lucky. 

Despite the loss of a family member and some of my work, our family has enough. We are privileged. We have food, enough income, a warm home. Every day, we encourage each other to remember all that we have and to feel grateful.

So something in me broke while I listened to this woman at the medical appointment. She felt that her situation was deeply unjust. 

Our household understands and approves of the border closures. We're wearing masks, staying home, and doing all we can (like most Manitobans) to wait out this pandemic, save lives, and wait for our turn to get vaccinated. 

But I have never before gone so long without seeing my family. And based on recent announcements, the border closure is not changing any time soon (for good reason).

My parents, who are vaccinated, want to know when they can visit their grandchildren. My father-in-law, who lost his partner, is also vaccinated and cannot quite comprehend why we're patiently waiting our turn. Meanwhile, a cousin in New York contracted COVID-19 in elementary school. 

Dear lady at the doctor's office, you are so, so privileged.- Joanne Seiff

"This is not over yet," we remind our parents.

During a late night phone call with Mom this week, when my kids couldn't hear, I cried about this for the first time. I miss my parents. If you are lucky enough to have family nearby, think about when you last saw them. Even with every restriction in place, was your last visit 18 months ago?

If not, please reconsider when you choose to complain in public, while not wearing your mask, about where and how you can celebrate a birthday with your adult child.

'Please, think of others'

We try to find ways to be grateful and feel joy daily for what we have. 

Public health and government try to protect us, but they can only do so much. Wearing a mask, social distancing, and doing your part are just the bare minimum we owe to each other. We must continue to do this if we expect to recover from this pandemic together.

We've lost so many people and careers. Many are homeless during this hard time.

Dear lady at the doctor's office, you are so, so privileged. We all must hold on and do our best to care for one another. It's time to get over the "terrible suffering" one incurs when you cannot eat out with your family as you'd like.

Please, think of others. Enough people have died. Wear a mask. Get vaccinated. Get on board. It's time.