The killing of trans man Sam Nordquist was devastating to me. Because it could happen in Canada too

This First Person column is the experience of Elliott Long, a trans Manitoban and co-director of Trans Manitoba. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ. You can read more First Person articles here.

WARNING: This column contains references to suicide and transphobic violence.

Last year, during Pride weekend, my husband and I were outside watering our garden when an unprovoked man pulled up in his truck, got out and walked toward us. He began calling us "disgusting freaks," and said we were "ruining society." 

"Look at you!" he continued to yell at us. 

Sadly, this wasn't an isolated incident. As a trans person, my family and I face casual transphobia on a regular basis. Sometimes even physical violence as well.

Trans and nonbinary people are routinely targeted for violence. There are a lot of people who view trans people as reasonable subjects for ridicule, sexual harassment and violent assault. A lot of people. Just for being alive. 

Recently, Sam Nordquist, a 24-year-old Black trans man, was kidnapped, repeatedly tortured and killed in New York state. Seven people have been charged with second-degree murder in connection with his death.

Someone whose body is similar to mine, brutally tortured. There are just no words that can accurately represent the devastating and fearful impact Sam's death has had on me.

Sam's sister Kayla Nordquist has said that after he was reported missing, police didn't take the calls seriously. They told his sister to "stop watching so much TV" and that it was not a "true crime episode." 

Our trans masculine population still needs protecting. 

According to court records, the perpetrators routinely poured bleach, a whitening agent, on Sam's skin. But police have said there's no evidence at this stage that this was a hate crime.

Aggravated sexual assault is a violent and deliberate assault that aims to strip all victims of their dignity — and transmasculine people, specifically, of their dignity and masculine identity. 

But it's "not a hate crime."

These are not random acts of violence. The district attorney has said that this case is "so much bigger" than a hate crime.

Yes, it is. It's part of a much larger systemic problem rooted in racism, white supremacy and misogyny.

It's about a culture that continues to teach people to view actual human lives as disposable. 

A legacy of hatred and violence

North America was built on the forced labour of Black people. African people were stolen from their homes, families and cultures. They were harshly abused for the benefit of a capitalist system that still prioritizes wealth and power over the ethical treatment of our fellow humans. This continent's foundation is soaked in the violence and suffering that Black people have endured — enslaved, stripped of rights, considered legal property. 

It's North America's history that has laid the foundation for these racist and transphobic attitudes and left a legacy that fuels the hatred and violence that is directed at marginalized people today. 

It feels like there has been a rise in violent crime against trans people. That is consistent with the rise of fascism and the growing popularity and acceptance of alt-right political groups. 

The rhetoric from public figures like U.S. President Donald Trump has worsened this situation. His words and policies have given hate a green light — a permission of sorts — for white supremacists to pounce. 

This isn't just an issue in the United States. It's a dangerous, growing problem here in Canada too, that will not fix itself without serious action.

White people cannot stay silent. Cisgender people cannot stay silent.- Elliott Long

Right below Canada in New York state was where Sam had his life taken from him. Sam was kidnapped and held captive for an entire month before his killing. Then he was discarded as though he were less than human.

Sam's loving family had their son stolen from them. 

I have three children. As parents, we have the devastating task of preparing our children for a world where hatred is normalized and even reinforced by the very systems that are supposed to protect us and others. 

We have the complicated task of trying to protect them and preserve their innocence, while also ensuring they are taught not just tolerance, but acceptance.

Because we are talking about actual human beings who simply do not deserve this treatment in any context.

We need to be louder. We need to demand that our world is one where we protect and look after our most vulnerable people. A world where our most vulnerable people know that their lives are valuable and that has nothing to do with capital.

Disabled people. Trans women of colour. Sex workers, especially, are often the victims of brutal violence, and their deaths are too frequently ignored. 

Their lives were valuable. Sam's life was valuable, and this should have never happened. 

White people cannot stay silent. Cisgender people cannot stay silent.

You cannot ignore the problem any longer. 

This is not about just being appalled at the horror that Sam and others have endured; it's about breaking down the higher systems that continue to perpetuate and make room for this violence and never allowing them to do it again. 

If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:

• Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 (phone) | 45645 (text between 4 p.m. and midnight ET).
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (phone), live chat counselling on the website.
• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Find a 24-hour crisis centre.
• This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.

Support is also available for anyone who has been sexually assaulted.

You can access crisis lines and local support services through this government of Canada website or the Ending Violence Association of Canada database. ​​If you're in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911.