Elderly couple forced to live apart after nearly 70 years of marriage
Clarence and Jessie Terpstra hope to be reunited by their 70th anniversary on Dec. 17
Clarence and Jessie Terpstra are 93 and 92 years old, respectively. Their 70th anniversary is coming up. And for the first time in those seven decades, they're living apart — forced to do so by Ontario's long term care rules.
Now their five grown children are working with government representatives to try to fight the long-term care bureaucracy that's keeping them apart.
They love each other very much and they miss each other terribly.- Clarence and Jessie's daughter, Helen Postma
Clarence lives at Shalom Manor in Grimsby, Ont.
Jessie is living more than 20 kilometres away, at Heidehof in St. Catharines.
"Everything they did, they did together," said their eldest daughter, Helen Postma. "And they love each other very much and they miss each other terribly."
NDP health critic France Gélinas and MPP Wayne Gates have been questioning the Liberal government and pushing them to fix it – for the Terpstras and for other families who might find themselves in the same situation one day.
"For the first time in their 70 years they're being separated by a long-term care system that needs to be fixed," Gates said.
"It shouldn't take 18 days to fix it," he said. "Let's get this couple back together. And then let's look at the entire process."
'It's all new to us'
The Terpstras were until August living in a retirement village. After a couple of months' hospital stay for a hairline fracture, Clarence was released to a bed in the long-term care facility, Shalom, connected to the retirement village.
But with her husband gone, Jessie needed more nursing help than was available in their apartment, so her kids signed her up for a long-term care placement.
Though they ranked Shalom first, Postma said she was told she had to list other long-term options that would be acceptable, and Jessie was was placed in the first available bed – all those kilometres away.
"It's all new to us and it's a difficult situation to navigate," said Postma. She said she feels the situation is "urgent" and even held a press conference a few weeks ago to raise awareness of her parents' plight.
'They have not been put back together yet'
The Terpstras emigrated from the Netherlands in 1949, three years married. They already had Helen, an 18-month-old, and Jessie was eight months pregnant when they arrived to work in farming in Niagara.
Their Christian faith is a big part of their lives, Postma said. Her brother picked up their mom and drove her to Clarence's building a couple of weeks ago so the couple could watch a Sunday church service together, she said.
Gates said he's been assured by Health Minister Eric Hoskins that the couple's reunion is a priority.
But Gates is watching and waiting.
"They have not been put back together yet," he said. "Until I get the call that they are together I'm going to pressure this government to do the right thing."