'It's like ripping the scab off again': 1 year later, Las Vegas shooting survivors trying to move on
Surrey, B.C., couple Patti and Doug Johnston were at the concert in 2017 where dozens of people were killed
The physical wounds have healed, but a Surrey, B.C., couple are still grappling with what they experienced one year ago at the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history.
Patti and Doug Johnston were at the country music concert with friends on Oct. 1, 2017 when a gunman opened fire from a window of the Mandalay Bay hotel.
This weekend, thousands of survivors reunited in Las Vegas to mark the anniversary of the tragedy, in which 59 people died — including the gunman — and hundreds were injured.
"A group of us who were at the concert last year, we decided to go for the reunion," Patti said.
"We just thought it would help us feel a little more at peace."
Among the dead was a 23-year-old man from Maple Ridge, B.C., named Jordan McIldoon.
Vivid memories
For Doug, the reminders that come with the anniversary aren't easy.
"It's like ripping the scab off again," he said.
The memories of that night, which Doug said he thought would blur as time when on, are still "incredibly vivid" from beginning to end.
Both Patti and Doug escaped with bruises but one of their friends was shot.
"I haven't forgot a thing," Doug told Stephen Quinn, the host of CBC's The Early Edition.
'You're hyper-aware'
The memories still haunt Doug and surface sometimes — particularly in crowded areas.
"You go to any venue where there's a lot of people, it's a whole different outlook," he said.
At sports games, Doug said he constantly looks around for the nearest exit and watches the crowd for anything unusual.
"You're hyper-aware," he said. "You're always on guard whereas you used to be able to just go and enjoy it."
While Patti has decided to attend the reunion, Doug decided to stay behind with one of their friends who was shot at the concert.
The two friends had dinner together over the weekend and talked about what happened.
"I think the more you talk about it — you're not desensitizing it — but I think the easier it gets," he said.
He said he knows he'll never forget what happened but is trying to move on.
"I'm trying to put a lot of it behind me," he said. "Every day, it get a little bit better healed."
With files from The Early Edition