Pink Shirt Day opportunity to reflect on harm to society caused by bullying, UVic prof says

As B.C. marks the 16th anniversary of Pink Shirt Day, one professor says the day provides an opportunity to reflect on the harm caused by bullying, which she says is at the heart of many of the province's social problems.

Pink Shirt Day, also known as anti-bullying day, falls on the last Wednesday of February and highlights anti-bullying initiatives at schools across the country. 

The day started in 2007 after a Grade 9 student in Nova Scotia was bullied for wearing a pink shirt to school. The following day, fellow students of his school wore pink shirts to school in solidarity with the victim.

Since then, people have joined Pink Shirt Day every year, donning pink shirts, tops or wristbands to participate in the movement against bullying, harassment and violence. 

Bonnie Leadbeater, a professor of psychology at the University of Victoria, says bullying underlies many of our social problems, including domestic violence, dating violence, gang violence and youth suicides.

She says Canada has a "gruesome" ranking when it comes to bullying.

UNICEF's 2023 report on child well-being in wealthy countries found that Canada's rate of bullying ranked 23rd out of 33 countries.

Leadbeater says children in the current generation are also more vulnerable to cyberbullying.

"We need proactive, positive approaches to peer conflict and to aggression," she told CBC's BC Today host Michelle Eliot.

She says parents and teachers should teach the etiquette of cyber communications — what she calls the netiquette method. 

Teaching kids empathy

Julie, a grandparent, former teacher and resident of Roberts Creek, B.C., says one way to build positive interactions among students is to guide them through their behaviours. 

"I would say, 'What is this behaviour like? Is this behaviour respectful? Do you think this behaviour will help people be peaceful?'" she asked. "And students, I found, were incredibly honest."

"I would try to respond and relate it to people's feelings, which is usually why people are bullies because, in some way, their own needs are not."

Leadbeater agrees. 

She says children who bully are often children who are victimized as well.

Leadbeater is also the founder of the WITS program, which talks about what children should do if they're being teased or bullied. 

WITS stands for Walk away, Ignore, Talk about it, Seek help. 

The program began in Victoria and is focused on the idea of seeking help and encouraging children to open up about their experiences. 

"Schools now are more open than they used to be to children's concerns and children's complaints, that we understand better that children who are victimized can benefit from help-seeking," she said. 

Kelly, a resident of Kelowna, says bullying is also a result of stereotypical expectations. 

She says parents should have open conversations with their children about what's happening in the world and emphasize the importance of empathy and kindness and ingrain the idea that "if I wouldn't like that to happen to me, I wouldn't do it to someone else."

"Did the parents wear pink shirts to try to really encourage the conversation? Like, 'Oh, why are you wearing a pink shirt, dad?'" she asks. 

While bullying is a genderless problem, Leadbeater says people with different sexual orientations, people with different physical appearances and people from different minority groups experience bullying disproportionately.

She says it hurts those children the most who are still trying to figure themselves out. 

Leadbeater's point echoes the province's theme for this year's Pink Shirt Day, "Be bold. Be bright. Be you,"

Premier David Eby and Education Minister Rachna Singh said Wednesday in a statement the well-being and safety of students and staff in the K-12 education system is the province's top priority.

"We are committed to making sure our schools are places where children of all sexual orientations, gender identities (SOGI) and gender expressions feel safe, accepted and respected."