Missing your kid's hockey game is okay says blogging mother

Parents should not have to feel guilty if they aren't able to attend every one of their child's sporting events. That's the message Jennifer Hicks, a blogger and hockey mom, is telling her peers. She spoke to Rick Cluff on CBC Radio One's The Early Edition about the balancing act of parenting from the stands.

"I think parenting has almost become a competitive sport in its own right," said Hicks, a mother of three.

"As parents we're so quick to judge, we're so quick to look around the arena and see which parents are showing up every time or at the soccer pitch, which parents are there with the snack every week. And somehow we wonder do those parents like their kids a little more."

Hicks is adamant that missing a few games here and there is acceptable. She says it's important for kids to play sports because they want to and not because their parents are pushing them to do it.

"If I was at every single one of their games, I would fear that they might be performing or committing to these teams because they think that's what I want."

Unexpected benefits

In fact, parents may be helping their kids by not attending every game. Kids may focus more on improving their game if they know their parents are not sitting in the stands.  

"They shouldn't be listening to the parents at that point. So maybe removing me from the situation would help them to focus and listen to their coaches," said Hicks.

She says her daughter actually prefers it when her mother isn't watching from the stands. She explains her daughter's take on this.

"She wonders, you're not there when I'm writing science tests at school, you're not there when I'm doing book reports ... Why is this more important?"

Taking a more hands-off approach to sporting events can also teach kids to take initiative. For important events like playoffs, Hicks said her kids know they have to be proactive if they want their mom to attend.

"They know that I'm not necessarily going to be able to come to every single one of their games, so they need to know ahead of time if there are certain activities that are more important than others."

Hicks says sport should be fun for both parents and kids.

"I just want them to be enjoying sports as something personal, something they enjoy."

To hear the full story, click the audio labelled: click Jennifer Hicks explains why it's acceptable to miss your kid's sporting event sometimes