I found love again after losing my husband of 56 years

This First Person column is the experience of Jean Huether, who lives in Victoria. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

I first met Wayne in 1959 at our high school in Oshawa, Ont. We were both in a choir and he had the finest bass voice you can imagine. Everyone knew Wayne — he was often in the spotlight singing solos at church, weddings and school events. He was the tall, blond, handsome, confident type. We didn't date, but Wayne briefly dated my roommate, which meant he was off-limits.

On April 13, 2020, I sent a friend request on Facebook to Wayne even though we hadn't had contact for the past 60 years. I had looked at his profile several times before, but hadn't the courage to try to connect. 

You see, my husband of 56 years had died the previous year after suffering from Parkinson's disease for two decades. 

Michael and I met in 1961 at a roller skating rink in Saskatoon where he came to my aid after I fell  — an embarrassing introduction. He was easygoing and had a quick wit. I was 19 when we were married, and together we managed the ups and downs of life in Calgary. Our humble home was his castle, and I was always certain of his love.

But when his illness took a deeper hold of our lives and I became his caregiver, my despair and heartbreak grew over the years until it was hard to remember how things used to be. My days were filled with keeping Michael clean, fed and safe. I grieved as his illness progressed until I no longer knew the man I married, and he didn't recognize me. 

I was lonely.

My two daughters have been my best supporters. When I talked to them about my loneliness after Michael's passing, one of them even signed me up for an online dating site without asking me. "Just have fun," she said. It was fun. I met some friendly men, and dated a few, but I was not impressed. I wanted to feel a connection with someone, and for some reason my thoughts kept returning to Wayne's Facebook profile.

Wayne responded to my request right away. We spent the next month sending text messages, emails and talking on the phone. We talked about school days and old friends. He told me stories about his life as a trucker, his family and relationships. I learned that he was divorced and retired. Wayne had been living alone for several years in Hamilton, Ont., and like me, he was searching for something — or someone. 

I fell in love with Wayne on the phone. I felt no hesitation about entering a relationship with him, and I just wanted him to feel loved and secure. 

On May 8, 2020, Wayne arrived in Victoria. Meeting him again after so many years apart, I felt sure we would like each other, but the physical aspect of a new relationship can be awkward. I was nervous and self-conscious, but Wayne made me feel comfortable. As I got to know him more, I found the trust I needed to put my fears at ease. 

So, we decided he would stay.

A few months later we flew to Ontario and spent three weeks packing up Wayne's apartment. We had his van serviced for the trip, loaded it to the roof, and headed back to the West Coast.

We got engaged on Valentine's Day 2021. We planned to wed just by ourselves, but when my daughters heard, they wanted to be involved. On June 26, 2021, just over a year after Wayne came to B.C., we had a small outdoor wedding with 16 people including my girls and their families. It was a very happy day. 

So much tragedy has happened over the past few years, but we, on the other hand, are among the lucky few who instead found love and happiness. Now, we celebrate two anniversaries: the day Wayne arrived in B.C. and our wedding day. I believe it was meant to be.

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