Woman escapes abuse during pandemic, giving hope to others

There was a moment, sitting under a bright, brilliant sky, that a feeling washed over Laura, so unfamiliar at first that she couldn't place it.

Then it dawned on her — she was relaxed.

Laura, an alias created to protect her identity, had just removed herself from an abusive relationship, despite numerous challenges presented by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Now, experiencing relaxation in her transition home for the first time in years, she made a point of savouring the moment.

"I am safe," she said. "It's an amazing gift."

• CBC In Depth: Stopping domestic violence

The gift of safety, however, is one that eludes countless women in B.C. as they suffer through abuse in homes they can't escape.

Last month, Canada's minister for Women and Gender Equality said there has been a 20 to 30 per cent increase in domestic violence since the pandemic began.

Increase in abuse

Laura, who had been in an abusive relationship for years, knew something had to change the day she felt blood run down her face.

She had just been hit in the eye with an object.

Days earlier, her abuser was angry and drunk, threatening her with a kitchen knife he had raised over his head.

"Every time I tried to leave, he would escalate his violence to threaten me to not go," she said.

"I didn't know where to go."

Laura briefly moved in with family after her abuser was arrested.

She was scared, had just lost her job due to the coronavirus and was concerned about moving into a group home setting during the pandemic, but the facility she reached out to assured her it had health and safety protocols in place.

Almost immediately after she arrived, she knew she made the right decision.

"I haven't felt this safe in a long time," she said. "This place, it's just unbelievable."

More beds

The B.C. government secured nearly 300 emergency shelter beds in hotels and other facilities in response to the increase in domestic violence calls.

B.C. Society of Transitional Houses executive director Amy FitzGerald says so far, the demand for beds hasn't matched the dramatic spike in calls and texts that have flooded crisis lines since the pandemic began.

She believes that's because many women are trapped in situations where everyone in their home, including their abuser, is staying home during the pandemic, which makes it more difficult to escape.

"With the easing of restrictions and folks being able to leave their residences more freely, we anticipate that there will be more women coming into shelters," she said.

"We're trying to work with them and strategize so that women can actually access shelters in a safe way."

Sairoz Sekhon, who runs B.C. Housing's Women's Transition Housing and Support Program, says the emergency beds are also needed because capacity is reduced at certain shelters to accommodate physical distancing rules.

"That's been a significant challenge," she said. "Women and children need space to isolate safely."

Getting away

Debbie Scarborough, who runs a transition home in the B.C.'s Okanagan region, says it's often doctors who help connect women in abusive relationships with support, but with fewer medical appointments happening due to COVID-19, she fears that's not happening.

That's one of the reasons, she believes, that her staff are responding to an unprecedented number of emergency text messages and phone calls.

Scarborough says an increase in alcohol consumption — B.C. liquor stores reported a 40 per cent increase in sales in the early days of the pandemic — also plays a big role.

"Abusers are often drinking and then their tempers flare," she said.

"Now women and children are trapped in their homes with their abuser and there's nowhere to go." 

That's the situation Laura found herself in but she escaped.

Now she's encouraging other women to do the same.

"They don't judge you, they just want you to know that you're protected," she said. "You can work on you and get your life back together."

If you have a COVID-19-related story we should pursue that affects British Columbians, please email us at [email protected].