RATE MY PROFESSOR: Indiana Jones, Severus Snape, Professor Frink, and Charles Xavier

Name: Dr. Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr.

School: Uhhh Marshall College, if he was ever there, but he's never there

Location: Who knows? Not at our school.

Department: Archaeology (in theory)

OVERALL QUALITY: 4.6

TOP COMMENT (J. Smith): I met Dr. Jones once, briefly. He walked into our classroom, then someone came to the door with an urgent look on his face and a fez on his head, and Dr. Jones immediately dashed out.

I would use that exact word too; he both dashed and was dashing. Before he left he sort of smirked at me in the most charming way. I liked that, but I did not learn a single thing while in his class. We had a substitute for 140 of 142 days during the term.

EASINESS: 5.0 - we all got As, didn't learn anything though

HELPFULNESS: 5.0 - not to us, but he seemed to be helping a lot of other people based on what we saw in the newspaper, which is the only place we ever saw him

CLARITY: 5.0 - It was extremely clear that he was never coming to class

Name: Severus Snape

School: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Location: Scotland

Department: Potions

OVERALL QUALITY: 2.1

TOP COMMENT (N. Longbottom): Here is a question I have about this professor's teaching style: why always so creepy?

We're trying to learn here. We don't need you walking around, moping about, glowering, talking like your dog just died (and you killed him). We're practicing to defeat the evil outside the school walls. Why do you walk around like some Hans Gruber super-villain when you're supposed to be teaching us to be good?

Oh also, why did he play The Cure during exams? Very distracting.

Also, get a haircut that matches your age. No offense. Though what else do you expect from a guy who listens to The Cure, I guess?

EASINESS: 0.4 - very strict, though less strict than creepy

HELPFULNESS: 0.8 - his creepiness didn't help me not be terrified of him

CLARITY: 5.0 - very efficient lessons and would also speak very clearly when he walked by you and said, "YOU HAVE MUCH TO FEAR, CHILD" in your ear. He whispered that extremely clearly and also wrote it in extremely legible handwriting on the notecard he handed to you.

Name: John I.Q. Nerdelbaum Frink Jr.

School: Springfield Heights Institute of Technology

Location: Springfield

Department: MeHAY!VEN Flurvenomics

Overall Quality: 3.2

TOP COMMENT (A. Student): I, a lowly student writing as myself, would like to leave a FLAVIN comment to say that the talents of this MEHOYGEN professor are so astounding as to require some sort of GIANTBRAIN the likes of which only he is in possession of, in order to understand it, which is why we each have received F-minuses but we thank him for them anyway GEHOYVY thelearningisgood.

EASINAAAAYVENESS: 5.0

HELPENHOOOGEN: 5.0

CLEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYyyyyyvieeeeeeeeeeeee: 4.9

Name: Charles Francis Xavier

School: Who wants to know

Location: Whoa. Absolutely not.

Department: Why are you asking? You must stop this at once.

OVERALL QUALITY: ?.?

TOP COMMENT (R. Edacted): I have suddenly and of my own volition lost the urge to write anything about this professor or include any identifying information about the school, its whereabouts, and its purpose.

EASINESS: ?.?

HELPFULNESS: ?.?

CLARITY: ?.???????

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