New dad needs elbow surgery due to excessive skinnamarinkydinky-doing
ST. JOHN'S, NL—Father of two Joseph Hardigan has been named the first official sufferer of "Skinnamarink Elbow", also known as Bram's Disease, after introducing his favourite 1980s television show to his young children.
The Skinnamarink, which consists of touching one horizontal arm and one vertical arm at the elbow and waving, was made popular by Canadian children's entertainers Sharon, Lois, and Bram. Many have come to think of the dance move as a less sexualized version of the chicken dance.
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Although a seemingly innocuous action, the sheer repetitive stress has done irreparable damage to Hardigan's left elbow. "I just wanted to show my kids what I used to watch when I was their age. But they just kept watching it and making me do the actions," said Hardigan through tears.
"Now I can't even hug my children."
Orthopedic specialist Donald Cummings has been treating Hardigan for the last two weeks.
"I've seen war vets in better shape than this. He's a mess. Bruises, sprains, a condition I've dubbed 'ultra-tendinitis'. Honestly, he's lucky to be alive. I would be very surprised if he gets to keep his left arm."
Hardigan is scheduled for surgery in Halifax later this month and Cummings is hopeful.
"It's going to be a long road ahead, but with some intense physiotherapy over the next few years he can expect to see some very gentle Camp Cariboogey-ing in his future."
Hardigan's insurance has denied his claim for the injury saying, "If he didn't want to get hurt he should have watched The Big Comfy Couch. After an unsuccessful GoFundMe campaign, Hardigan has subpoenaed Sharon and Bram and is seeking upwards of 16 million dollars in compensation.
The entertainers' lawyers have responded negatively, saying they are Canadian entertainers and are not only broke but owe the Public Broadcasting Service $70,000 in uncollected pledges.
Hardigan's lawyers assume this will be the last they hear from the performers' legal team and went on record to say, "You see this sort of thing all the time. It's the Eric Nagler effect. One day you're there and the next, no one ever hears from you ever again."
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