'She was my rising sun': Mother mourns Kassidi Coyle, who killed herself after sexual assault

Warning: details of this story are disturbing.

Kassidi Coyle couldn't take the stand against the man accused of sexually assaulting her in 2016 — but her words were used to convict him.

Four months after she was assaulted, Coyle took her own life. In a rare judicial move, the case was allowed to go ahead in Barrie, Ont., against the accused, 39-year-old Shawn Roy.

Superior Court Justice Robert Gattrell said he had no doubt as to the accused's guilt. Roy was found guilty on Wednesday.

Judi Coyle is preparing to deliver a victim impact statement at Roy's sentencing in April. She spoke to As It Happens host Carol Off.

What was it like in that courtroom yesterday to hear the judge say that word: "guilty?"

I think I had confidence that he was going to be found guilty. It was just a mother's intuition, I think. I just think that he was such a ... what he did to her was so wrong, and she raised so much awareness, that I thought there is no way this guy can walk away from here. And I was right.

The defence for Shawn Roy argued that your daughter Kassidi, because she wasn't there to testify and be cross-examined, that her evidence against Shawn [and] her statements should not be included in the prosecution. What did the judge say to that?

Well that was a battle, because that's what they told me at first: because there's no victim, there is no crime. And I said that's ridiculous. And the Crown wasn't going to go ahead with it. They were just going to shelve it and not bother going ahead with it. But I wouldn't leave them alone. I just kept phoning them and saying that you have to do something, this is crazy, you can't just let this go.

And then, so they found a couple of precedents to set an example where the same thing had happened where the girl had died of suicide before it went to court. And so he decided to take Kassidi's word on it and go ahead with it because he said he believed Kassidi's statement.

I know this is painful but for people listening, we need to be able to talk about what happened to Kassidi that night. What did you learn in the course of the trial?

This man was completely drunk. Obviously not that drunk, but he climbed into bed with her and then proceeded to remove her short...her pyjama bottoms. So he managed to get that off her and then he tried to enter her, which they have proof [of] — DNA evidence. 

But the judge was quite firm on this. What are some of the things the judge said to these arguments presented by the defence?

He basically would say that he believed the witness. So, like: "The witness testimony appears to be the truth because they were sober. Mr. Roy, I don't believe a word you say."

She was my rising sun ... I wasn't ready for her to leave.- Judi Coyle

How did this assault change Kassidi?

It changed her completely. She was my rising sun. She's the youngest of four girls and I had her when I was 37. So I still had her living at home when this happened because she wanted to stay at home.

She was going to go to school; she was going to be a nurse. She was going to go to college here in Barrie. And she was going to live at home. So I wasn't ready for her to leave.

It's been awful. It doesn't get better. I don't feel any better today than I did a year and a half ago. I feel the same kind of pain.

Do you believe that she took her life because of what happened?

Yes. 100 per cent.... She tried three times and on the third try she died in my arms. Her heart stopped beating, and she stopped breathing, when I was holding her.

The first two times I managed to get her to the hospital on time and the doctor told her, "Kassidi, you almost died. You try this again you will die." And she just looked at him. She didn't care.

When she first came off life support, she wrote something on the board. And I thought it was going to say. "I'm sorry. I love you, Mom." But it said, "I just want to die."

She wanted to die. She said she couldn't get his face out of her head. Everywhere she looked she'd see him and she couldn't shake it.

I can't imagine what the horror must have been going through her head, or in her mind.- Judi Coyle

I understand that you were trying to get her to get some counselling.

Her first appointment with the psychiatrist was November 19th. She died October 30th.

How do you think that might have helped her, if she had been able to get that counselling?

Oh, it would have helped her a lot. It would help anybody. I can't imagine what horror must have been going through her head, or in her mind.

What does it mean to you that even in death she was able to not just get justice, but actually set a precedent that might make a difference?

Well she's done more than that. She was an organ donor and she saved five lives.

And she's also set this legal precedent.

Yes. She set a legal precedent that's going to help. There's never going to be another problem again, if anything happens to the victim. Little Kassidi Coyle.

This has been edited for length and clarity. For more, listen to our interview with Judi Coyle.