Just like your mom, The Queen is now on Facebook
The most recognizable Mum on earth is on Facebook. And she takes friend requests rather seriously.
As the Queen's personal assistant and dresser, Angela Kelly has many duties. But none may be as crucial as making sure Her Majesty's mobile stays fully charged at all times. The Queen loves social media so much that her attendants always ensure she has constant access to all her Facebook friends (note: would love to see the list and wonder if we have any mutuals) via a juiced up laptop, iPad or smartphone.
The royal version of the latter sounds like something cooked up in an underground MI6 lab bunker (I may have gone on a Bond binge recently). A small, slender affair, the Queen's phone barely leaves her perma-gloved hand. Those gloves may be touch screen compatible – Her Majesty also loves texting. What's more, the royal mobile is encrypted with such sophistication that it's completely hack proof. No automated messages from numbers she doesn't recognize advising her she's "been selected for a sweepstakes offer" to be sure. Royalty has its perks. Her Facebook account also boasts the highest level of security. In fact, searches for the royal profile yield no concrete leads and a pending royal friend request is highly unlikely. As far as other platforms, last year she sought out someone to manage the Royal Twitter account. It's unclear if Her Majesty is on Snapchat.
Even at 91, that the queen is so tech savvy is no real surprise (although my mom still needs the occasional FB tutorial at 69, sorry to out you mom). Her Majesty is a world leader after all and staying connected, one assumes, is part of the gig. But the royals have long been early adopters of tech. Queen Victoria made the first royal phone call on January 14, 1878 after Alexander Graham Bell himself demonstrated its various uses and functions. Apparently, she had no use for Bell, finding him "rather pompous". The phone, however, she tolerated. Barely. A permanent line was installed not long after Bell's visit though she kept phone use to a minimum thinking the "rubber speaking tube" mouthpiece seemed unhygienic. Still, communication and all the technologies that facilitate it have remained staples in the various royal palaces to this day. Presumably, the royal Wi-Fi is amazing.
Who are the Queen's social media BFFs? Well, again, her security settings being so rigorous, it's tough to get a full picture. But apparently two in particular activate her text and chat message alerts most frequently: her daughter, Princess Anne and her racing manager, John Warren. Her Majesty has a deep love for the ponies. I'm guessing the galloping horse emoji is often in her most recents. I make the assumption based on the interesting fact that Mr Warren is the only person on the planet who gets put through to the Queen instantly, any time he calls. There's a hotline bling, sliding into royal DMs or Adele joke to be exploited here but I'll trot around it to avoid offending.
Aside from horse racing and family updates, we think chocolate biscuit cake recipes may be a popular queenly topic. I'm just hoping her Facebook Poke button got customized along with the her next level security settings to feature a royal sceptre (Her Majesty pokes you; Her Majesty has been poked by Vin Diesel and Cher – I don't know who her friends are). Prince Philip is also said to love tech and has had his own laptop for years. Nice to know there's no bickering over royal screen access.
If you've always wanted to honor our place in the Commonwealth and send the Queen Mum a respectful message, Facebook is now your best bet. If you can find her.
Should you track down Her Majesty's official profile, note that a horse emoji in the top line of your message can't hurt your chances of a royal reply.
Marc Beaulieu is a writer, producer and host of the live Q&A show guyQ LIVE @AskMen.