Macron and Trudeau deny bromance during meeting at official treehouse

PARIS, FRANCE—When will everybody realize that these are two serious politicians, doing serious work?

During a recent meeting at the official International Diplomatic Treehouse, located in the yard of France's official government residence at Élysée Palace, far enough to get some privacy but close enough to hear when dinner is ready — Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and French President Emmanuel Macron were forced to tell curious reporters that their burgeoning friendship was far less important than the business of negotiating deals and improving relations and coalitions involving the two countries.

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"You know, people love to make a big deal of it," said Trudeau, resting a slice of pizza on a comic book in his lap, "but we're politicians. It's important to spend time with each other, get to know each other, decide who's the best X-Men (sic), that kind of thing."

"That why we arranged this meeting, a simple evening meeting over a meal. No different than any other diplomatic summit. We got pepperoni with extra cheese, no mushrooms, we both agree mushrooms are SOOO GROSS so that's good, that's sort of a microcosmic example of the way our countries are on the same page."

The meeting was apparently a productive one, with the official agenda revealing that the two covered "1. Climate/Environment 2. Best hockey player (ever) 3. Best Seinfeld episode 4. Defense/Military 5. Stephen King best book (including a side-bar during which President Macron officially went on record as not believing that Prime Minister Trudeau had read all of It, claiming "it's so long, I got bored!!!" and 6. Tariffs."

"We believe our work here today was productive and important, which is always the aim," said Macron while cycling away, baseball cards flapping in the spokes of his bike's wheels.

"We believe that our friendship is important to the work of good government — positive relationships between people breed proper relationships between nations — but it is not the be-all and end-all. We could have achieved just as much this weekend even if we had not watched an old VHS copy of Face/Off, played NHL '94 on the Super Nintendo, or mixed together several flavours of pop to see how it tasted."

"It tasted okay."

At press time, the two men were working with Sweden to arrange construction of the most comfortable bunk-bed for use during next year's G7 summit.

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