Happy 4/20 from the spray-on cologne makers of North America
Hello!
Or should I say… hi? (aka high — a reference to weed)
My name is Ken Mendelson, and I am the proud chairman of the board of the Spray-On Cologne Makers of North America, or "S.P.L.I.F.F." (We tried to make the letters match up. We couldn't. It's really hard.)
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I hope you're having a wonderful 4/20. And on behalf of the spray-on cologne makers of North America, I want to wish you a very happy 20th of April.
We think that you and we make a great combination. Like peanut butter and chocolate, Ruth & Gehrig, nothing quite goes together like a mid-priced spray-on cologne from the mall and a smoke-laden sweater.
Oh, we know we're not perfect.
We know that we don't so much make the smell of marijuana go away, as we do combine the strong smell of marijuana with a new, also strong smell of cologne, in some sort of new, unholy melange.
But we respect that strange combination. We love that strange combination. We know there's only one reason you buy spray-on cologne from a kiosk at the mall, and it's to soak a sweater you bought from a separate kiosk at that same mall, or possibly an American Eagle.
We're proud that you do. We look forward to continuing to work with you for many years to come; in fact, we think our relationship is still only… "budding."
(The use of "budding" there is a reference to the weed plant.)
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