This is what happens when two people who are kind of trash at making stuff try online art classes

Leah Collins and Lise Hosein are Stuck at Home. Different homes. And while they're holed up in their respective Toronto apartments, they'll be trying some of the most inventive arts and culture they've discovered online. The world doesn't look the same right now. Neither does art. Join them and see how COVID-19 is changing how we consume all kinds of culture. 

It seems like there's always something to do, and yet the pandemic's produced countless virtual art clubs. But is the average person driven enough to learn watercolours or block printing or, I don't know, Cinema 4D? Can you even muster the energy to Google the available options?

Honestly, we didn't go searching for the Isolation Art School — a reader actually recommended it. (Further tips, by the way, are welcome.) And the project's the invention of Keith Tyson, a British painter and winner of the 2002 Turner Prize. Occasionally, you might get an absolute beginners lesson from the founder himself, but every day, there's a full slate of of activities available on Instagram. Lessons are self-shot and submitted by various artists, and the skill level ranges from from kids' crafts to hydraulic sculpture. No previous experience is required, so you know. If it were, we wouldn't have tried it.

"My idea is simple: let's put together creatives and people who want to learn," Tyson says in the school's first video post, and since launching March 20, the community's swelled to more than 34,000 members. There's a hashtag for showing your work, too — though neither Leah nor Lise produced anything worthy of posting. Instead, in the interest of "storytelling," they'll bravely do so here.

Leah Collins: Have you tried anything like this, yet? Are you the kind of person who loves some how-to content?

Lise Hosein: OK, I admit it. Yes, I do enjoy how-to content. Just privately. Not for work. And not for the INTERNET.

LC: You do?! I thought I knew you. What sort of how-to content?

LH: Dance tutorials. How to draw an eyeball. Cooking stuff. And origami — to name a few.

LC: I am such a passive consumer of this kind of stuff. It takes extreme circumstances for me to, say, make a shopping expedition for craft supplies so I can duplicate whatever #oddlysatisfying thing the algorithm has served me. But I suppose a global pandemic would qualify as extreme.

LH: I think it does.

LC: Of all the different challenges that have surfaced because of lockdown, Isolation Art School is producing an impressive number of lessons. And they add a fresh slate every day! That wealth of material is partly why I wanted to try it. Which assignment did you go with first? How did you choose?

LH: I think it's important I disclose something off the top: I only did one project, Leah. ONE.

LC: And I'm sure it's sensational. 

Personally, I tried at least one assignment every day this week, but I get it. Just because we're spending all our time at home doesn't mean we're not busy. Since lockdown started, there's been this can-do narrative out there — like you're a pandemic failure if you haven't perfected some new project or hobby. If that's for you, fantastic. But there's no good in stressing out, worrying about how you're going to maximize all this time in captivity.

LH: The volume of lessons IS impressive, so much so that I felt a bit overwhelmed. I spent a lot of time cycling through the various projects and eliminating each based on: I don't have a glue stick, I don't have that colour marker, I am isolated and slowly losing my mind.

LC: Ha! OK, I can relate to the bit about art supplies. On day one, I chose an assignment because I didn't have the right doo-dads to make anything but...

LH: I feel something monumental is coming.

LC: This!

LH: LEAH. HOW?

LC: I am the world's biggest five-year-old. That is how.

Really, though, I happened to have a toothpaste box in my recycling bin. And this craft required a toothpaste box. Cosmic!

LH: I looked at that project. I have a toothpaste box — I'm not a total wreck. But how did you get all of that pink? 

LC: Somehow, I don't have nice drawing pencils at home, but I do have a stack of construction paper. Even in quarantine, every day brings a bounty of surprise.

LH: And why does it look like a demon who may also be my best friend that you mail to me if we have like three more weeks of solitary confinement? It's beautiful. Kudos to you and Isolation Art School and whatever witchery you employed to make this.

LC: OK, sure. Whatever you say. We both know that puppet, like everything else I'll show-and-tell in this article, is a blight on my digital footprint.

The instructional video was way more entertaining than actually making the thing, in my opinion. Actually, everything I watched was good for a laugh — cute diversions in and of themselves. And that's pretty impressive considering the school is built off user submissions.

LH: I definitely enjoyed watching all of them. And it brought home to me the distinct difference between wanting to have the time to do something and actually having it, or that my perception of how long something will take is wildly different from the reality. I mean, let's face it: I failed this challenge. But I have such a newfound admiration for all the Isolation Art School acolytes. Like you. And your toothpaste demon person.

LC: I'll see if I can have him shipped to your place.

About time, again, I appreciate where you're coming from. In my experience, though, most of the exercises were tailored to be brief, which strikes me as a savvy move. I budgeted an hour to tackle something new each day, and I only went overtime on one assignment. It happened to be my favourite of the bunch, so I guess I was indulging myself a little bit.

LC: It's this one — where you try to make your own drawing tools out of junk around the house. There were only two criteria: the stuff had to be "broken and yours." If I could make a paintbrush with my soul, I would, but instead, I collected a bunch of garbage and vegetable bits...and drew an interior scene with the stuff I'd found indoors. 

For what it's worth, carrots are my new favourite art supplies. More control than a paintbrush, and tasty, too. No household is apocalypse-proof without them.

LH: I'm excited to see the results. Show me!

LC: OK, fine. But the drawing is as trash as the stuff I used to make it. Working on it was lovely, though. If you ever feel like painting a houseplant, I thoroughly recommend using a dried up piece of the exact same houseplant to make it so. 

LC: Is that Elvis or a spaceman? Just wondering. I need to know.

LC: Neither, but if I tell you, you'll realize just how bad I am at this. I'm prouder of my DIY drawing tools. 

LH: You know, what you did counts as cannibalism in some universes. Using a plant to paint the VERY SELF SAME PLANT? Leah. Art is supposed to be nice.

LC: It was dead, anyway. And in the interest of salvaging my reputation, please note that I upcycled my new "drawing tools" in a third project. Isolation is making me such a planeteer...because I refuse to shop for craft supplies. 

LH: I'm very impressed. This is also making it a lot more difficult to talk about my "art project."

LC: If I show you my third art project, you will feel better about yourself. And everything. Forever.

LH: Hit me.

LC: So, I was supposed to build a sculpture out of found objects. Here's the sort of thing the teacher makes.

LC: Aaaaand...here's what happened when I spent 30 minutes playing with fancy trash on my kitchen table. (I added the Garfield eyes as a distraction.)

LH: This is like a real thing that you made! And I'm buying those Garfield eyes from you after isolation, just declaring that now.

LC: Never. They'll bury me with those Garfield eyes.

LH: I'm charmed, for real. I can see the process! And the care you took. I think this one is a success.

LC: I would say the "process" was more important than the end result, for sure. I have never attempted to make something from wilted spinach and a wire hanger, but I appreciated the journey. Taping food scraps together is not easy, I'll have you know. I gave my mind over to the "struggle," at least for half an hour or so.

LC: OK, I've had enough of publicly shaming myself. Show-and-tell time! What was your one and only project, Lise?

LH: What, me? It was really nice talking to you, Leah.

LC: I showed you my trainwrecks, show me yours.

LH: Let me give you a tiny bit of context. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with op art and this book about some wizard guy who taught you how to make your own op art. What I am trying to tell you is that six-year-old Lise tried to make op art.

LC: I want to know more about the wizard guy, but yes, go on.

LH: So that's what I picked. A simple marker and paper exercise (because that also plumbs the depths of my art supplies) that makes a 3D thing seem to rise out of a 2D thing. I did it at 3 a.m. I was upset. Also, I had no hot chocolate. I also was slightly angry.

LC: But it turned out great! 

LH: Yeah, if Isolation Art School does a tutorial about how to generate hot chocolate from old spinach, I'm in.

LC: They take submissions, you know.

But what about the exercise? How did you feel it went? What did you get out of the experience? Did it make you forget about the cocoa for 15 minutes, at least?

LH: I do want to say this, because I get that I might not seem all that serious about Isolation Art School: I do want to do many of these things! I think it's going to take more time and prep than a week. But as a long-term investment, I can see the value of so many of these assignments, and the pride (as a non-artist) that I'd get out of completing them.
So I'll probably do another one. But don't tell anybody.

LC: Sorry, we've already committed to publishing this entire chat thread. 

I definitely understand the satisfaction that comes with finishing an assignment. Even when the results are awful, I feel a little ping of accomplishment. That's what I got out of this experiment. 

LH: Can I make one comment about all online art school assignments in general, though? 

Just like at every Bob Ross party where you really need to pause the video, like, 75 times and somebody is crying by the end, these go REALLY fast. I am putting a call out for somebody to create a real-time DIY video for a distracted person in isolation. I want it to be five hours long and not challenging at all.

LC: I would watch that. Be the change you want to see in the world.

LH: On it.

CBC Arts understands that this is an incredibly difficult time for artists and arts organizations across this country. We will do our best to provide valuable information, share inspiring stories of communities rising up and make us all feel as (virtually) connected as possible as we get through this together. If there's something you think we should be talking about, let us know by emailing us at [email protected]. See more of our COVID-related coverage here.